Boardwalk Empire: Gimcrack and Bunkum

Boardwalk Empire Season Two Episode 5

Well, we hate to say it but we were expecting more action in this episode than we got. We did expect a couple of murders, at least, and that did happen … but still, it is seriously annoying that the previews this season are a little less satisfying and a bit more misleading than last year. Anyway, there are only 7 more episodes to go in this season. We can only hope the action will pick up next week so enough of our whining … on to the recap

Memorial Day 1921.

Despite behind-the-scenes intrigues, most of the town’s notables turn out for a Memorial Day celebration in Margate (Lucy the Elephant gives that away) except, of course, the Commodore. But Nucky does not fail to pay tribute to his enemy, calling him the city’s doting father. Also in the crowd is U.S. Attorney Harry Daugherty, in town to get Nucky out of his state election rigging charges, and not really to represent President Harding, but you knew that. We don’t know what you think, but Daugherty’s attitude in this episode makes us think the title refers to his paying back this favor. He’s making a big show of it, but he doesn’t really seem to care if it works out for Nucky or not.

Nucky announces that Jimmy Darmody, in the crowd with wife, Angela and son, Tommy, will be the one reading the list of the fallen. Angela didn’t know Jimmy was part of the presentation. Neither did he. Not willing to let Nucky embarrass him as unprepared as he is, Jimmy walks up to the podium and says to Nucky: “Do you think I can’t play this game?”

Nucky sarcastically replies: “I don’t think you even know the rules.”

Despite a shaky start, Jimmy pulls it off and the crowd is appreciative of this war hero, but Nucky continues to seethe as he dresses for a game of golf with Attorney General Harry Daugherty. His complaints fall on deaf ears. Daugherty plans to make the most of his Atlantic City holiday, and that doesn’t include being Nucky’s sounding board.

Jimmy and Eli meet with the men who made Atlantic City who want answers, after bragging about their Civil and Indian War exploits. (Wikipedia has a cool list of the oldest survivors of all past wars for those interested in that info).

Parkhurst also brags about the cool million he made off chipped beef. Jimmy had his bellyful of that in the service and says he’d rather eat dog turds. Well, some people actually liked that stuff and Stouffers still makes the creamed chip beef that you eat on toast, often called “shit on a shingle,” for those who crave it on occasion.

Where the Commodore is also comes up as well as that $70,000 investment that went up in flames. Jimmy tries to schmooze the old codgers into believing the Commodore has vested full power in him. “Listen, son,” one old gent says, “you’re trying to diddle the wrong men.” Jimmy makes a wisecrack challenge: “Yeah? You going to drum me out of your yacht club?” Indian fighter, Mr. Parkhurst, who is sitting in a wheelchair next to Jimmy, promptly clocks him in the forehead with his cane. “It’s high time you and your whole goddam generation learn something about respect,” Parkhurst says. “You just taught me plenty,” Jimmy says and leaves. Outside he tells Eli that he’s done with the old guys and Eli better stay out of his business, too.

Then Mama’s boy Jimmy runs home to Gillian who soothes his ruffled feathers, telling him that she knows those men. “How well?” Jimmy inquires pointedly, but she sidesteps that one and tells him $70,000 is nothing to these guys. She instructs him to take prompt action to make it clear that he will brook no disrespect.

Not having a helpful mommy, Eli, on the other hand, decides to go back to Nucky hat in hand. Nucky wants more than a simple apology and Eli spills the beans about the Commodore’s stroke. This only infuriates Nuck more because now he knows what prompted Eli’s reversal. Nucky tells Eli he also needs him to get down on his knees and kiss his feet. He informs him on what he thinks of Jimmy and Gillian (conniving c-nt), says he’ll see the Commodore’s body in a ditch and starts whomping Eli. It’s Margaret to the rescue when Eli starts getting the better of Nucky and it looks like he might even get his gun out. Margaret’s got a rifle and orders Eli out of the house.

Margaret rolls snake-eyes again in the thanks department. Nucky tells her: “In the future if you’re going to point the gun at someone, make sure it’s loaded.” She is too shaken to worry about that. “Is this to be our life?” she cries.

Eli Offs a Ward Boss

Eli is home trying to fix something for one of his boys, little Brian, when Ward Boss George O’Neill shows up very upset. Eli has been hitting the moonshine for his throat after the fight with Nucky. (We thought he was the one who choked the shit out of Nucky.) He sends little Brian off on a mission to borrow a veeblefetzer from a neighbor. (A made up name like a thing-a-ma-jig.) George gleans from Eli’s attitude that it is true that the Commodore is out of commission and threatens to tell Nucky. Why should that matter to Eli? He’s already told Nucky himself. All the same, Eli loses it and whacks poor George in the face with a heavy wrench. He decides George isn’t getting out alive and smashes his face and skull with repeated blows. Later he enlists the disingenuous Deputy Halloran to help him get rid of the body. “Jesus, Halloran exclaims, “is it somebody I know? “It’s Mary Pickford,” Eli replies.

Halloran gets to utter the best line of the episode; “You killed Mary Pickford?” LOL! We’ve got to have more of these Halloranisms.

Jimmy’s Revenge

Our other casualty is Parkhurst who is home gloating over his latest acquisition: a Sioux Indian breechcloth. “It doesn’t cover much, does it?” his butler, Alexander, notices. “They come charging at you practically bare-assed, ” Parkhurst says, reliving his glory days, “with those clubs,” and relates that the Indians thought they could stop bullets by magic. After Alexander goes off to see about the old man’s cocoa, Jimmy whirls him around in his wheelchair and tells him he’s there to teach him a lesson. “Who are you,” a stunned Parkhurst asks Harrow. “A soldier,” he replies and proceeds to scalp the old man, in what is being looked at by a lot of people as some kind of poetic justice. But again, we are about as impressed with Jimmy and Harrow as we were with Gillian slapping the shit out of the Commodore. They’re pretty good with crippled old men, eh?

If you want to see something really funny, go watch the interactive feature “Jimmy’s Revenge” on HBO GO, where Tim Van Patten explains that Jimmy is “kind of a sociopath.” We’ll say.

Next week in “The Age of Reason,” Nucky orchestrates a risky liquor delivery in Philadelphia; Attorney General Daugherty faces a quandary that could complicate Nucky’s case; Jimmy finds a new mentor in Leander Whitlock, the Commodore’s longtime lawyer; Margaret confesses her sins; Lucy struggles in solitude, while Van Alden wrestles with his conscience. (from IMDB, written by HBO’s publicity department – we so hope it isn’t misleading).

Also check out Richard Harrow’s World and Leander “Muttonchops” Whitlock