Shameless Recap: The Apple Doesn’t Fall Far from the Alibi

Season 9 of Shameless resumed on 1/20/2019 after a 12-week “Hi-Beer-Nation” so the network could bring us “Ray Donovan.” Episode 8 doesn’t seem to be taking place that long after “Down Like the Titanic” — Carl is still home for the summer.

Can I get a half pint of Stoli, Marlboro Silvers, and a scratcher, please? ~ Fiona Gallagher

After selling her building to Max Whitford, a depressed and broke Fiona is drinking like a fish, hence the episode title. It’s a funny title. Too bad we can’t say the same for the episode. When Frank went to the Alibi, he found Fiona sitting on his stool and she refused to vacate it. It only got worse when Fiona learned that Whitford made a killing when he sold “her building” for $475K. He only offered to cover her mortgages at $292K. Now it is being torn down to make way for condos. Fiona still has her job as manager of Patsy’s but at this rate, who knows for how long? She’s drinking on the job, berating the customers and it sure looks like waitress Eliza is the de facto manager.

I recently lost my father to a skydiving accident. The propeller. ~ Debbie Gallagher

When the utilities are suddenly shut off, Debbie has to take control of the household finances, which are 3 months in arrears (which makes no sense at all, but we know — whatever). She has to go around with various sob stories to get the utilities turned back on. She’s hanging around with co-worker Farhad, who cracks Muslim stereotype jokes like “We don’t use electricity. It’s against the Koran.”

Do you guys reuse your Q-tips? No, don’t answer that. ~ Tami

Lip and Tami are now a couple. Tami wants Lip to get his own place because her name is on the lease where she lives and she can’t see herself shacking up at the Gallaghers. Lip says that they can convert the basement into their love nest. There are some obstacles to such a brilliant plan, however, like rats the size of toasters in the walls and the Gallaghers’ general ignorance that cleanliness is next to Godliness.

You know how many LoJacks I’ve gotten rid of before? ~ Carl Gallagher

Carl and Kelly are also a hot item, unbeknownst to her father, the Major. Kelly is supposed to be attending summer camp, but Carl gets the idea to hold public scooters hostage and make people pay them for their use and she thinks that’s hot. Then they find out that the company will pay them to charge the scooters and bring them back.

Frank, would you fertilize my eggs? ~ Ingrid Jones

Ingrid takes Frank to a fertility clinic where she has stored her eggs. Randy never wanted to have a child with her and now, Frank is her only chance. He is only too happy to oblige, however, the doctor tells Frank that his little swimmers can’t even do the doggy paddle. Frank enlists an unwitting Carl’s help and the doctor pronounces the results a miracle. Looks like Carl is going to be a father.

Oh, say, can you see By the dawn’s early light ~ Santiago

Kevin and V’s plans to adopt a baby went out the window because the waiting list is too long and they need something to do. So they adopted a 12-year-old Hispanic boy named Santiago. He speaks no English but he can sing the Star Spangled Banner and has a strong pitching arm. Kevin is delighted until they bring Mrs. Hernandez over to talk to him to find out what kind of things he likes. They find out that he’s not an orphan. He got separated from his father and sister at the border. Veronica decides that they can’t keep Santiago and will have to help him find his father.

All in all, this was just a catch-up episode. Laugh-out-loud moments? None here really but Debbie’s excuses to the utility companies were amusing, especially the one where she only has a few months to live: “As a proud organ donor, all of these will be up for grabs pretty soon. Except for the colon.”