Shameless: Sins of My Caretaker Recap

Sunday’s (2/17/2013) episode of Shameless was “The Sins of My Caretaker.” It may have seemed like that was karma coming back to bite Frank in the butt for burying Aunt Ginger in the yard and continuing to collect her social security checks for over a decade, but the title really had nothing to do with that.

Jimmy was having such a hard time adjusting to the knowledge that his dad, Ned, is gay that his own performance in bed was suffering. Unsympathetic Fiona didn’t think it was that big of deal compared to her problems, but it really was much worse for Jimmy than just finding out his dad was unfaithful because he has been living with the object of his father’s affections — Fiona’s brother, Ian. Now, in addition to revisiting past memories illuminating his father’s odd behavior– every time he looks at Ian, ay yi yi! This leads to him make a remark about his father and Ian at the table in the presence of little Carl, who has no idea his brother is gay. Heck, he doesn’t even  know what it means to be gay.

Frank needs some help digging up the yard but Jimmy pleads broken finger. Carl reminds Frank he has cancer. Frank informs him that the cancer lady called and the good news is he is now cured.

Ned visits Ian at his job seeking assistance in getting his stuff out his home. He tells Ian that he can take whatever he wants because everything is insured and not to worry about his wife. She’s passed out cold from Stolichnaya till 3 p.m. Predictably, Ian goes to Mickey to find out if he wants in on the heist. They are hauling everything and anything they can get their hands on out of there when Mickey drops a grandfather clock on his helper. Ned’s wife (Jimmy’s mother) wakes up. She’s got a rifle and shoots Mickey. They have to haul ass, injured ass in Mickey’s case because that’s where she got him.

After Fiona’s attempt to liberate her co-workers from sexual abuse backfired, the  backlash has begun from the resentful women who don’t like her “special privileges.” One harassment tactic is putting thumb tacks in her cash register.

Predictably, Sheila’s insistence on subjecting Jody to her kinky side has backfired big time. The “grand poobah of depravity” is back with leather, chains and more than Sheila ever dreamed of. Sheila has to take in another hospice patient, a dying nun who never talks because she has taken a vow of silence. After pouring out her Jody troubles to her patient, Sheila is floored when she finds out that the silent nun is one helluva typist. She’s been blogging away about the sins of her caretaker.

Veronica learns that her chances of having a baby are non-existent because of an infection she picked up back in the day from a rapper who now has a whole passel of kids. V borrows a baster from the Gallaghers and goes through a list of possible surrogates with Kev. Fiona’s too white. Her pretty cousin is only 13. They decide on V’s mom. And we thought she was going to sue the rapper and pay for a surrogate with the settlement!

At least one person’s hard work paid off this week. Debbie went to the city pool only to be teased by a couple of older girls about being flat-chested. After going home and getting a bikini to stuff, Deb returns to the pool only to have the girls pull an awful trick on her. They put ketchup on her chair while she was in the pool and yelled period when she sat in it. Humiliated, Debbie went home and locked herself in the bathroom. “Nobody bleeps with the Gallaghers,” Fiona told her, while poor Debbie cried out her anguish. Pulling her resources together, Deb headed back to the pool with a couple of bags of dirt to weigh her down in water. She dove in and forced one of the girls to remain underwater until she passed out. All that underwater breathing practice sure paid off.

Because of his past relationship with crazy Karen and because Fiona keeps giving him a hard time about living with Mandy and Molly, Lip overreacts to Mandy’s helpfulness. She’s been taking care of him so well that Kev says he’s ghetto married and that’s the last straw. Lip sends Mandy to her own home. As for Molly, Fiona informs the child that he’s really a boy. Ian gets really pissed at Lip for mistreating Mandy and Debbie is very upset at the thought of Molly leaving. Later, Lip realizes that he is being a fool. He unloads his Karen anger on Karen via voicemail and gets Mandy back.

Throughout the entire episode, the hunt for Aunt Ginger’s bones continued. Jimmy had a big blowup with Fiona over the whole “my tragedy is bigger than your tragedy” thing so he took his tragedy to Estefania. She was only too happy to listen to Jimmy’s tale of woe in exchange for unbridled sex. Frank ingeniously roped a few fellas from the bar into helping dig up the yard under the pretense of finding gold, without results. Even fireworks didn’t yield a single osseous fragment, but just when Fiona at last unearthed a nice-sized bone, the unthinkable happened. Child Protective Services finally got around to investigating that spiteful call Frank made in The American Dream. It’s obviously the worker’s first case and the scene she walks in is mind-boggling for her. It’s mind-boggling to Fiona too. Ned just removed the bullet from Mickey’s butt. Little Molly is strutting around with a big lipstick smear. There’s way more kids sitting around unattended than live there. If that’s not bad enough, Debbie returns at just that moment to triumphantly share her coup at the pool. Next week doesn’t look like it’s going to be a barrel of laughs with the kids being taken away.