The Pony Quotes – Boardwalk Empire

Here are some quotes from the 11/4/2012 Boardwalk Empire episode: “The Pony” (S3 E8). The episode recap is over here.

First we switch the body, then we switch the cause of death

• Crematory Director: I spoke with the coroner. He made the change you requested.
• Gillian Darmody: Accidental drowning.
• Crematory Director: Mr. Whitlock made a persuasive case for discretion.
• Leander Whitlock: There is a grandchild in the matter.
• Gillian: I thought I had my son back. Then he would reach for the needle and nothing I could do could stop him.
• Richard Harrow: Jimmy deserved better than this.

Another body disposed of incurs a debt

• Dean O’Bannion: We’ll be out of your hair in a minute, dear.
• Sigrid: You’re welcome as a guest in our home.
• O’Banion: I got people like you all over the north side, George. Practically an army. Except you, of course, working off a debt…
• Nelson Van Alden aka George Mueller: I understand.
• O’Banion: Good. I want two cases a week. That”s 24 bottles. Oh and tomorrow, you’re coming with us to a meeting. Be on the corner of Wabash and 23rd at 11 a.m.
• Van Alden: I have a job, sir.
• O’Banion: He peddles irons. Do you believe that?

Isn’t this obit a little late

• Eddie Kessler: I — I don’t quite know how to say this.
  Nucky Thompson: Just start yammering like always.
  Eddie Kessler: James Darmody is dead.
  Nucky Thompson: That is pure speculation.
  Eddie: No, he has drowned. The death notices.
  Nucky: (reading) mishap, while bathing at the home of his mother, Mrs. Gillian Darmody.
  Eddie Kessler: I’m terribly sorry for your loss.
  Nucky: Don’t be an idiot.

The ruins of Pompei can change your outlook on life

• Johnny Torrio: I mean, you walk down the street, and there’s these ruins, thousands of years old, just sitting there.
• Al Capone: Hey, look who’s back.
• Jake Guzik: He was just telling me about the volcano.
• Johnny Torrio: Vesuvius.
• Al Capone: It’s near Naples.
• Johnny Torrio: I know that. I was just there.

Health Resort Troubles

• Leander Whitlock: There’s still the matter of Tommy’s guardianship.
• Gillian Darmody: Whatever it costs.
• Whitlock: You’re raising him in a whorehouse.
• Gillian: It’s a health resort.
• Nucky Thompson: I’ve come offer my condolences.
• Gillian: How very kind.
• Nucky: You can imagine my shock when I saw this morning’s paper. A young man cut down in his prime.
• Gillian: A troubled young man driven to narcotics, truth be told.
• Nucky: (raising his glass) To James.
• Gillian: (throws her drink in Nucky’s face). Shall we stop now — with all this nonsense.
• Nucky: It is nonsense, isn’t it? We should really be drinking to the sap who died in your tub.
• Gillian: You killed my son, Nucky. After all the disappointments, the false promises…
• Nucky: I kept every one…
• Gillian: To Jimmy and to me.
• Nucky: Here’s what I came to tell you. Whatever you’re trying to pull, there’s something you best keep in mind: you exist in this town because I allow you to, and all in all, I’d say that’s…
• Gillian: Very generous of you.
• Nucky: You’d be wise to say that like you mean it.

A Desperate Lady

• Dr. Mason: Am I wrong, or is she flirting with me? Every time we talk, she always brings it around to sex.
• Mrs. Shearer: I need to talk to her.
• Margaret: There’s a pamphlet I can give you. It explains different methods…
• Mrs. Shearer: When you first saw me and I was bleeding, I wasn’t… it wasn’t an accident, you understand?
• Margaret: What do you need?
• Mrs. Shearer: One of those Dutch caps…

Getting in to see Mr. Mellon

• Nucky Thompson: What do you do for fun, Esther?
• Esther Randolph: I run naked through the pages of the United States criminal code.
• Gaston Bullock Means: Miss Randolph, do you wish to be a privy to these revelations?
• Esther Randolph: In for a penny.
• Means: I applaud your boldness. Secretary Mellon is in Manhattan today attending to matters particular to his private enterprises. He will, as a creature of habit, take his luncheon at the Union Club on 51st Street and 5th Avenue.
• Nucky: How do I get in there?
• Means: You, Mr. Thompson, cannot. However, Mr. Charles Rickson of Missouri can, owing to a reciprocal agreement with the Kansas City Club.
• Nucky: What do I need to know?
• Esther Randolph: Andrew Mellon is one of the richest men in the world… and he despises Harry Daugherty.
• Means: Whom he regards as no more than a common thief — (glances mirthfully at Randolph) not to cast aspersions on our employer.

Van Alden known about Pompei too

• Johnny Torrio: Dean, how you been?
• Dean O’ Banion: John, you know Hymie Weiss.
• Torrio: (pointing at Van Alden) There’s a new face.
• O’Banion: He’s my muscle.
• Al Capone: What’s in the case.
• Van Alden: Irons.
• O’Banion: Yeah, press you out. Nice and flat.
• Torrio: Pompei. You heard of it?
• Van Alden: The town was buried in 79 A.D.
• Al Capone: The past is for suckers, right?
• O’Banion: That depends on what happens in the future.

At Billie’s audition

• Clifton King: Gil’s a charming gambler on the run from the law. You’re a show girl down on her luck. Not a lead. The funny one in the chorus.
• Billie Kent: The pony.

A curt dismissal

• Nucky Thompson: I won’t take up much of your time.
• Andrew Mellon: Why would you take up any of it?
• Nucky: Because we have an enemy in common — Harry Daugherty.
• Mellon: There’s no cause for a scene but this gentleman is an interloper. Please be ready to call the police in the event he doesn’t leave the premises immediately.
• Nucky: I’ll see myself out.

Margaret gives Owen the go-ahead

• Margaret Thompson: Would you teach me to drive?
• Owen Sleater: Right now?
• Margaret: No. After.

You can only push a psycho so far

• Ball Busting Co-Worker: Sir? Why how dare you? Can’t you see that I’m a perky little housewife?
• Van Alden: Yes m’am. My name is George Mueller. I’m with the Electric Iron Company — The Faraday Electric Iron Company.
• Co-Worker: Well, if you don’t know who you work for, then why should I care?
• Van Alden: I misspoke, I’m sorry. M’am, I am selling a product that can save you hours of break-backing work.
• Co-Worker: (imitating a woman’s voice) Is it a steam-powered dildo because my arm sure gets tired.
• Van Alden: No, m’am it’s an iron and if you’ll allow me to demonstrate, this is our newest model. It has heat set — three heat settings — and an enamel handle which is very comfortable…
• Co-Worker: Are you married.
• Van Alden: I am.
• Co-Worker: Well, Mr. Mueller, if you screw as poorly as you pitch, you really should be selling dildos because your wife could use a… (Van Alden burns his face with the iron in his hand and goes on a rampage through the office).

Don’t call me sir

• Billie Kent: Gus, I didn’t know you were in town?
• Nucky Thompson: I haven’t met the shiek.
• Gilbert: I’ll get you started, sir.
• Nucky Thompson: What did you call me?
• Gilbert: Sir?
• Nucky: Gilbert, why don’t you take that pig in shit smirk and that bedsheet and get the bleep out of here. Take her (Billie’s flapper friend, Vi) with you.
• Gilbert: Why don’t you watch your language?
• Nucky: (punches him in the face) Little bleeping interloper.

Sometimes losing your job leads to a better opportunity

• Sigrid: Husband, what has happened?
• Van Alden: I, uh, at work. An incident. Bad person and the other event. Where you would like to go? I’m open to any state, except New Jersey and New York and Illinois, obviously…
• Sigrid: Drink this.
• Van Alden: What’s this.
• Sigrid: The whiskey for Mr. O’Banion. I make it all day while you don’t come home. 14 bottles.
• Van Alden: No. No, no, no. Where not supposed to drink any…
• Sigrid: Not to drink. To sell… to Norwegian people .. Syttende Mai is tomorrow, the day to celebrate when Norway become free of the Danes.
• Van Alden: Darling, I. ..
• Sigrid: We do this so you don’t worry yourself about losing your job. We make more. We sell more. We stay. … We buy a house right here. In Cicero.

Club Artemis Chit Chat

• Gillian: Do you have children, Mr. Rosetti?
• Gyp Rosetti: Two girls. My little princesses.
• Tonino Sandrelli: Beauties — just like their mother.
• Gillian: Mr. Harrow, have you met Mr. Rosetti?
• Rosetti: Use him to scare away the mice?
• Gillian: Are you familiar with Babette’s? Supper club on the Boardwalk?
• Rosetti: I ate there with Nucky before our falling out.
• Gillian: Have you fallen out? I hadn’t realized. He’ll be dining there this evening with Mr. Rothstein.
• Rosetti: You don’t say? … Why you telling me this?
• Gillian: I thought perhaps you’d like to surprise him.