Shameless Recap: Occupy Fiona

Ian was all about spitefully punishing Fiona over the church dispute in Episode 7 of “Shameless,” Season 8 (12-17-17) while Debbie had a well-deserved surprise for an arrogant customer. Lip went to bat for Professor Youens in court and one of Carl’s drug addicts helped him get the other $3,527 he needed for his tuition.

They’re angry about gentrification and I’m helping them channel their feelings in positive, creative ways ~ Ian Gallagher

Ian woke Fiona up in the morning by throwing a bucket of ice cold water on her and it wasn’t even the first time. Fiona didn’t retaliate but went to her building to get it ready for an open house. While she and Nessa were figuring out what to do about a stuck sliding door, Ian and the homeless kids started egging the building. Nessa wondered why she didn’t do something about it and Fiona claimed it was because she was a grown-up while Ian was acting like a child. (Seriously? Some of us wouldn’t think it amiss if Ian lost a few teeth just for the Ice Bucket Challenge.) Next, the protesters took spray paint to the sidewalk to profanely insult Fiona. Ian was confronted for the vandalism and told he was trespassing on the vacant lot next to the building. He broke out a permit obtained from the lot owner and the homeless kids arrived with tents and plans to dig a latrine as close as possible to Fiona’s building. Ian even called the Fire Dept and reported Fiona for violations. What a putz!

Trevor showed up when Ian and the kids were running around with bullhorns shouting “Occupy Fiona.” He objected to Ian using the kids in his family beef. Undeterred, the tent children began chanting “f— you, Fiona.” Fiona’s solution was to buy them 12 pizzas and give each of them a $20 bill to go eat it. Geneva wouldn’t budge and it cost Fiona $60 to get rid of her. Then she paid a bunch of Hispanic guys to get rid of the tents. Ian was stone-faced when he found out, but Fiona had another building all lined up they could lease for the shelter. Trevor was interested and signed the lease. Now Ian is mad at both of them, and although he insisted that he was taking his bipolar meds, he sure looked and acted like he was lying.

I chose booze. A long time ago. ~ Professor Clyde Youens

As predicted, Brad ended up staying at the Gallagher hacienda. He was drowning in a pool of tears and self-pity in the morning because he forgot Cami’s birthday. On a mission to save Youens from a long stretch in the pokey, Lip had to placate Brad and get him together enough to be a character witness in court. Youens, however, was a no-show at the diner and they found him drunk as a hoot owl on his bedroom floor. After dragging him to the shower, Youens threw up all over the front of Brad’s shirt and Brad started back being a whiny beeyotch. You had to feel bad for Lip, although where he got the idea that he could get Youens off with a light sentence on his 5th DUI will remain a mystery. Even before that level, jail time is mandated! In court, the Spanish lady who owned the house that Youens plowed his car into now had a neck brace on. She wasn’t even grazed by a flying bookend but there she was, crying to the judge. Brad was a crappy witness, hedging his responses way too much. Lip pleaded with the court and jury to give Youens another chance because he owed his life and sobriety to the Professor. It was all for naught because somehow Youens managed to swill down some hootch before staggering to the stand. He turned to face the judge and said “Hola!” and it was off to the can for the once esteemed educator.

Lip angrily wanted to know if Youens cared about anything. He said he appreciated all Lip’s help but he didn’t ask for it. “If you don’t like what you see,” Youens said, “don’t look.” Clearly, Lip’s frustrations are not over– he still has Brad on his hands. Why he wants to waste any sympathy on that guy is another mystery, right? We originally thought Brad was hard on everyone, but now we think he’s the type that’s hard on everyone except himself. Youens may yet be right that he will drag Lip down.

This collar is white. I’ll take my talents elsewhere. ~ Frank Gallagher

Frank’s inflated idea of his worth as an employee was most amusing. Two interviewers didn’t agree with his self-assessment. After he was forced to the back of a mile-long line of old laid-off managers, he landed on a barstool at the Alibi in front of a bottle of Jamison and had his first drink of the season. There he met Akram, who told Frank his story was worse. He was being deported after 25 years over a speeding ticket, and the Canadians won’t even let him in. A lightbulb went off in Frank’s addled brain and he offered to smuggle Akram and his family across the Michigan/Canadian border for $200 plus gas and tolls. Kermit wanted Frank to pick him up some Canadian insulin while he was there and another guy wanted some EpiPens. Tommy put in for a case of Tecfidera. Frank was last seen driving off with a Canadian flag bandanna on his head and a Canadian flag attached to his car.

You get me a few grams of coke and I’ll help you make a Jihad Joan video ~ Kassidi/h4>

Carl had a basement full of addicts to detox but ended up making his tuition off the advice of the defiant Kassidi. Her foolproof way to get Carl the $3,527 was to send a ransom video to her filthy rich daddy who always pays up. Daddy did pay and he even gave Carl some extra money to tell Cassidy to get her blue dress cleaned and show up at the club for Tiffany’s 12th birthday party. He warned Carl that Kassidi is a “Venus fly-trap.” Kassidi refused to leave because she’s sick of parties and sailing around the Greek islands on P. Diddy’s yacht just because her daddy is his dentist. Carl could not resist being lured in.

I just need to sit here quiet and do some mental stretches ’cause this math is gonna be so hard for me. ~ Debbie Gallagher

Debbie almost got fired from her parking lot attendant job for not calling when she was locked up in Missouri, but she begged for another chance. Cute little Franny giggling on her lap made her boss give in, with a warning to be more polite to the customers. Our girl sure tried but the arrogant Dr. Dick (the name on his license plate) gave her a really bad time and even tore the gate off. Debbie got her revenge by welding the dumpster to the front of his sports car. She knew she was terminated for sure but told Nadine it was 100% worth it just to see the look on the doctor’s face.

You never buy stamps! ~ Kevin Ball

All of Kev’s attempt at being a dominator with leather outfits, paddles and burning candles fell flat. He was using his safe words, French Fry and Alley Cat, before he even put the paddle to work and burned himself with the candle. Frustrated, he lashed out at Veronica for putting fabric softener in the babies’ jammies and that was all it took to dominate V– yell at her about her shortcomings. Good grief, what a relief! We surely didn’t want to see him dripping hot candle wax on V’s body.

We’ll get around to that Irish guy, Ford, and more in the Supporting Cast post tomorrow.