Ivory Tower Quotes: Boardwalk Empire

Here are some quotes from “The Ivory Tower,” the second episode of Season One of Boardwalk Empire

Reporter: Is it true the police questioned you about Big Jim’s murder?
Johnny Torrio: We was like brothers, me and Jim.
Reporter: Like Cain and Abel?
Torrio: Wiseacre, huh?
Al Capone: Back off creep.

Nucky: You a family man, Harlan?
Harlan: Got me a wife and four boys.
Eddie Kessler: Agent Van Alden to see you.
Nelson Van Alden: Nelson Van Alden, Sr. Prohibition Agent, Bureau of Internal Revenue.
Nucky: Nucky Thompson. Shoe shine? Coffee? Something stronger maybe?… Nice that you boys have a sense of humor.
Van Alden: You’re a difficult man to see. I’ve been waiting since 9 a.m.
Nucky: I don’t keep regular hours.
Van Alden: That’s a little odd for the County Treasurer, isn’t it?
Nucky: What can I do for you?
Van Alden: I’m investigating Saturday night’s shooting.
Nucky: What’s to investigate? We can all rest now that the architect of that slaughter’s been killed himself.
Van Alden: Hans Schroeder.
Nucky: A Hun. Is it any wonder though — the level of brutality?
Van Alden: Hans Schroeder was a baker’s apprentice for the past 11 years. He has one citation for public drunkenness: Oktoberfest 1912.
Nucky: I wrote that summons myself. I used to be sheriff here. He pissed inside of a moving trolley.
Nucky: You really should be speaking to our current Sheriff.
Van Alden: Your brother, Elias.
Nucky: Have you seen “The Hottentot”? It’s a terrific show. Laugh a minute. And if you’re stag, I can certainly introduce you to some eligible young ladies.
Van Alden: I don’t go in much for the theater.
Nucky: Then tell me what you do like.
Nucky: Correct me if I’m wrong but your bailiwick’s alcohol, isn’t it. Shouldn’t you be out somewhere raiding another still?

George Baxter: Thompson! Mr. Thompson!
Nucky: Shit, what’s this sap’s name again?
Eddie Kessler: George Baxter. He sells cutlery to the local restaurants.
Nucky: Well, if it isn’t good old Baxter. How’s tricks, my friend?
Baxter: I’m in clover, I tell ya. Business is grand and I just picked up this little chippy down in Baltimore.
Baxter: Thompson’s a big cheese. Big as they come.
Nucky: Some say a big rat.
Claudia: Your friend’s a big shot, huh?
Baxter: Old Baxy knows ’em all, baby.

Eli Thompson: Mrs. Schroeder, Elias Thompson. I’m the sheriff. … I want to talk to you about your husband and his involvement in illegal alcohol.
Margaret Schroeder: He was never in trouble a day in his life, not in that manner.
Eli: Didn’t you just lose a child? … The fact is you don’t really know what he was up to and he could have been involved in these shootings. … and if anyone happens to ask, that’s what you’ll tell them.
Margaret: I don’t see how…
Eli: You have children — Theodore, Emily. I’m sure you’d be horrified if they ended up in the custody of the County.
Margaret: Please, I meant no disrespect.
Eli: Of course, my brother would like you to have this. Keep what we discussed in the forefront of your mind.

Supervisor Elliot: Who is he, the mayor?
Nelson Van Alden: He’s the county treasurer but he lives like a pharaoh. The entire 8th floor of the Ritz. … grand furniture crystal vases, oil paintings, tailored suits … he’s corrupt as the day is long and I’m not just talking about a little graft. There isn’t a single business he doesn’t get a piece of…
Agent: He’s got the entire town paying off.
Van Alden: The people love him. The darkies especially.
Agent: And that’s just the tip of the iceberg. Casinos, whorehouses, even owns a wire service for the racing results.
Supervisor Eliot: You went down to Atlantic City following Arnold Rothstein. What about him?
Van Alden: Frankly, sir, I’m beginning to think Nucky Thompson is the bigger fish.

Nucky Thompson: How did she seem? Was she in good spirits?
Eli Thompson: She took the money if that’s what you mean. A little defensive about the husband.
Nucky: You should’ve dumped him like I told you — side of the road somewhere… so he could be identified.
Eli: He was identified.
Nucky: The fish could have ate his face off, Eli. He could’ve drifted to Nova Scotia. Use your noodle next time, eh?

Nelson Van Alden: He was a patsy, Mrs. Schroeder. A dupe, set up to take the fall.
Margaret Schroeder: By whom?
Van Alden: Do you mind if I smoke?
Margaret: Please. . . . I, uh, had a ribbon…

George Baxter: Talk about a flat tire, Lionel Barrymore last nght, dinner at the Knife & Fork, champagne till dawn and not so much as a smooch.
Nucky Thompson: She looks like a pushover.

Jimmy: I said I was sorry, Nuck.
Nucky: Really? When was that?
Jimmy: I’m sorry. I thought it would be easy, okay? Get the drop on them, swipe the truck. No one would get hurt.
Nucky: And me? Where’d I figure in?
Jimmy: It would have never been traced back to you.
Nucky: Well, guess what? A fed came in to see me this morning, standing right where you are now, asking questions about Saturday night.
Jimmy: What’d you tell him?
Nucky: To bugger himself. What the bleep do you think?
Jimmy: There were deer in the woods. Al got spooked, he started shooting.
Nucky: So you kill four bleeping guys?

The Commodore: I want you to tell Mr. Thompson here what your thoughts are on the League of Nations.
Louanne: I don’t know what that is, sir.
The Commodore: Well, how do you feel about the Harriday Act?
Louanne: Holiday?
The Commodore: Harriday. Allows banks to operate through subsidiaries.
Louanne: Sorry Commodore. I’m not versed in these matters.
Commodore: Of course she isn’t. She empties my pisspot. That’s your woman’s vote.

Jimmy Darmody: So we’re square?
Nucky Thompson: As a block of ice.