Dallas: Family Business Recap

Before we could look deeper into the prison life of John Ross Ewing, he was back on Southfork sticking his tongue down the throat of the lovely Elena. And we open Family Business (8/1/12) with John Ross lying in bed as Elena cleans a little blood from one of his wounds. “I know you’re thinking how did I get so lucky to snag this guy?” he jokes, but Elena is really thinking what a son-of-a-bitch J.R. is. She believes John Ross would not have been anywhere near Marta if it wasn’t for J.R. He says it’s more complicated than that. It surely is, but he fails to enlighten her exactly how.

Meanwhile, the glowing Rebecca still wants Christopher to return to her loving arms. He’s thawing out a bit and shows her two twin monkeys in the window of a kids’ store. She brings them home only to find Tommy lurking inside despite her changing the locks. Tommy says she’s going to have to work even harder to get him the plans to the gas extraction rig because Christopher has tightened up his security. “You’re a master thief,” Rebecca says, “Do it yourself.” He says if she gets him the key card, he will. Tommy wants Rebecca to tell him the truth about Christopher: “He’s not as good as me, right?” He tries to push up on Rebecca but she scratches his face. She is really scared, trembling even, but about all Tommy says is she better get him what he wants…

“The plans to Christopher’s rig or I put a bullet in your little fairy tale.” ~ Tommy Sutter

Harris Ryland drops by to visit with Sue Ellen with a bottle of burgundy.Speaking of scared, you can smell Sue Ellen’s fear through the TV. Anyone else, she’d be totally offended at such an obvious and low dig at her boozy past when she was Stew Ellen. What a slimy creep Harris Ryland is to prey on her Achilles heel. She merely points out that she has not touched a drop in 20 years. Ryland drops the bomb that he knows about her threats and bribes to the medical examiner. He wants some money laundering help. Sue Ellen says she will return his contribution and he says she can do that but she can’t take back that bribe. She can do him this little favor or she can be disgraced and arrested! She tells him to get out of her office because she’s the only one who can bribe and threaten.

Cliff’s man, Frank, meets up with Tommy because he is the buyer. Does that mean Cliff is the real buyer or is Frank moonlighting on his own? Who knows, but Tommy wants double the money now that Exxon is sniffing around. Frank gives him one day.

Christopher is obviously the only one who can come up with great ideas because when Elena and John Ross present one to Bobby that even he is interested in — slant drilling — Christopher storms in and pitches a bitch. He wants to put another beatdown on John Ross. But Bobby says they both are going to sit down and listen or he’ll make them. Then he has a brain seizure and lands in the hospital. Elena tells John Ross that Bobby has cancer. No one told him because they thought he and his pappy would use it against Bobby to get Southfork. John Ross leaves and runs into Bum in the hall. What the hell is he doing there? Who knows, but John Ross threatens to kick his ass if he doesn’t get in touch with J.R. and tell him Bobby’s dying.

“I’ve never kicked an old man’s ass but today’s as good a day as any.” ~ John Ross Ewing

Bobby had a cerebral aneurysm but he is still cancer-free. Bobby decides to go home against doctor’s and family advice. Christopher sleeps on the couch all night and wakes up to find Rebecca lurking. She works her way up to massaging the kinks out of his neck when Elena strolls in with 2 coffees. Why is this awkward? Why should Elena care if Christopher and Rebecca get back together? Who knows, but as Rebecca leaves, the opportunity to steal the key card presents itself and she doesn’t do it.

J.R. shows up to check on Bobby and Ann tells him to get out. “Now just calm down, darlin’,” he says. “Don’t you darlin’ me!”, Ann exclaims, “This is YOUR fault.” J.R. doesn’t see how it’s his fault.

“Well of course you don’t! You’re a sociopath.” ~ Ann Ewing

She threatens to shoot J.R. somewhere a lot lower than the heart, since he doesn’t have one, if he comes near Bobby. J.R. goes off to his room, muttering about her going crazy. Christopher prevails upon John Ross to get J.R. to sign over the deed to Southfork to Bobby, reminding him how Bobby was the one who was always there for him when he was growing up. John Ross strikes out and Sue Ellen shows up to give it a go. Elena melts as John Ross cries about how much he loves J.R. and spent his whole life wanting to be like him. Now he sees that J.R. is so lost in his anger and bitterness, there’s no room for anyone else. Sue Ellen’s big tactic is to smack J.R. and tell him what a bastard he is. She strikes out. Sue Ellen confides her Harris Ryland problem to Ann. “I would have been a good governor, don’t you think?” Sue Ellen whines. Ann agrees. So it looks like Sue Ellen has to give that one up or she’ll be the next one getting her butt kicked in jail.

When Ann goes out, Bobby tells Carmen to bring J.R. to see him. He tells J.R. he loves him no matter what and nobody lives forever. J.R. says he’s not going to stand there while Bobby writes his obituary. If Bobby’s got something to say, let him know after the doctors fix what’s in his head. It brings him to tears, but J.R. signs the Deed to Southfork back over to Bobby, but Bobby says he’s still not off the hook for how he got the Deed in the first place. J.R. says, quite cheerfully: “Well, if you die, I’ll get that back”.

John Ross and Christopher make a pact that will make Bobby happy: they are going to form Ewing Energies and work together to put their family on top again, and Elena is in on it, too. Bobby is so happy, his cerebral aneurysm bursts and that sends him straight to the hospital.

The rest of the episode plays out against Johnny Cash singing “When the Man Comes Around’ in the background. After telling Tommy she will not be getting him that key card, Rebecca goes to a bank where she is obviously known to her safe deposit box, with credit cards and money in it and A GUN. All she takes is the gun. Frank tells Tommy never to call him again, and Tommy storms in on Rebecca, telling us more about her than we knew while smacking her around. He was happy with petty cons until Rebecca showed up, wiggling her ass, talking about making millions and China and being her brother. So! Rebecca’s innocent act will go down the toilet unless she can get her mitts on that gun. It actually looks like Tommy doesn’t know whether he wants to kill her or rape her, but Rebecca does get that gun and they do struggle over it and it does go off, but who got plugged? Who knows?

We’ll have to wait till next week since the coming attractions gave no clue, although they did show Ann unbuttoning her shirt. So! Sleeping with Harris Ryland will put Sue Ellen’s campaign back on track? Well,  can we at least deduce that Bobby didn’t die because it would be most unseemly to give into Ryland’s hug demands so soon.

Dallas Season 1 Episodes: 1 : 2 : 3 : 4 : 5 : 6 : 7 : 8 : 9 : 10