Dallas: Collateral Damage Recap

Christopher on horseback comes to the Love Tree where all true Southfork love matches are carved: Bobby and Ann (what? shouldn’t that say Pam?) Miss Ellie and Jock, and, of course, Elena and Chris. Apparently, it’s okay for Ann to replace Pam and April, but not for Clayton Farlow to replace Jock. And apparently, Christopher doesn’t mind that Elena’s is currently sleeping with John Ross …

Speak of the devil, he then goes to see John Ross, who is trying to get a trust lawyer to unbind the legally binding trust that is preventing him from drilling on Southfork. As soon as John Ross spots Christopher, he says; “Don’t you have some cows to go birth?” Cousin Chris gives him back the DVD he starred in with Veronica now that he’s winning “fair and square.” John Ross reminds him of their childhood and how he would let Christopher think he was winning just long enough till his guard was down. Christopher says whatever his next move is, he hopes John Ross will leave Elena out of it. He plans to fight (fair not dirty) for both Southfork and Elena.

Rebecca appears on Elena’s doorstep with a gift basket to thank her for her help. Predictably, Rebecca gets morning sickness and a disgusted Elena (well, she should have at least been grossed out) figures it out. Rebecca admits she is 9 weeks and no, she didn’t know before the nosebleed. Christopher won’t answer her calls. Well, Elena can fix that, if Rebecca won’t have the decency to visit in the afternoon. When Christopher comes sniffing around again, she blurts it all out.

John Ross meets with cousin Lucy to see if she’ll persuade her daddy, Uncle Gary, to let him drill on Southfork. If there’s anyone Uncle Gary will listen to more than Bobby, it’s her. He offers her a significant stake in the oil that will gush in their direction if she succeeds. Next time he sees Lucy, she’s emerging from Bobby’s office and says “Sorry, John Ross.” He almost begs Bobby to let him drill. “This is what’s happening, young man,” says Bobby sternly, “I stop you from drilling, I link J.R. to the fraud and I get my deed back.” Adding more than a bit of contempt to go with stern, he continues: “And then you and your daddy never set foot on my property again.”

Why does Bobby hate John Ross so much? It’s kind of out of character for such a saintly guy, isn’t it? We may have to look into that a little deeper.

The Dallas police arrested Bobby for assaulting Harris Ryland. Bobby tells his attorney the charges are BULLSHIT because Ryland just wants to get his hooks back into Annie. Bobby’s attorney says all he has to do is apologize to Ryland and the charges will disappear. He reminds Bobby how powerful Ryland is. They still don’t have jack on J.R but he does have some info on J.R.’s PI, Bum. He’s a criminal!

Christopher goes to see Rebecca and she tells him she sent brother Tommy packing. Christopher is angry and demands to know why he should believe anything she says. Now that Rebecca has a bun in the oven, she can dispense with the doe-eyed begging looks. She says, married or not, she’s having a baby and he’s the father. She thought he would be a lot more adult about it considering what his real parents did to him. Hitting below the belt already?

Speaking of liars, Ann sat in a children’s playground lovingly caressing the necklace Harris Ryland sent and even lied to Bobby about her whereabouts when he called. She said she was in line at Neiman-Marcus. Later at home, Bobby is surprised at how heated up Ann gets when Christopher expresses his anger and disbelief over Rebecca’s news. Bobby tells Ann about Ryland’s charges and voices concern over the way she’s been acting. She storms off indicating she doesn’t want him to come near her.

Bum’s got the goods on Cliff’s driver, Frank. His real name is Raheed Durani. Cliff plucked him off the mean streets and raised him in style but didn’t adopt him. “Guy’s got a freakin’ MBA and he’s still a go-fer,” Bum observes. “A cheated man is a dangerous man,” J.R. replies, “Just ask my son.”

Christopher’s victory on the ranch won’t mean squat without Elena and that bitter pill is all the worse when she tells him they’ll never be together now that he’s gonna be a daddy. Besides she’s working it out with John Ross. Ann tries to convince Christopher that he needs to give Rebecca another chance. Lying about something in her past that she’s ashamed of doesn’t make her a bad person. Ann should know. Tests confirm that Christopher is indeed the daddy and there’s more than one bun in that oven. Ooh, twins!… Double the intrigue.

Sue Ellen prevailed upon Elena to bail her son out with some of that Mrs. Henderson oil, reminding her who her sole investor is and insinuating that particular well could run dry. Fake Marta is lurking nearby.

Bobby apologizes to Harris Ryland but warns him not to misconstrue the gesture. If he messes with his Annie anymore, Bobby will beat him into next Sunday. “Not if you’re smart, you won’t,” Ryland says. He doesn’t really give a rat’s butt about Bobby’s threats. He’s more interested in sharing some dirt he’s sure Bobby doesn’t know about his precious Annie and gives him an envelope. “She’s holding something back,” Ryland tempts, “and you want to know what.” Bobby tells Ann about this exchange and shows her the envelope. He does want to know, he admits, but if she’s not ready to spill her guts, that’s okay, too. Bobby loves her no matter what. To demonstrate that she can trust him, he dramatically burns the envelope in the fireplace and we see flames licking at a photo of Ann with a baby. Oh, Lordy, did Ann get knocked up from that one night stand with Cliff Barnes back in 1987 and try to make Harris think it was his? Cynthia Cidre says on the aftershow we won’t find out Ann’s secret until Season 2.

After Vicente put the squeeze on John Ross again, he bought time by throwing Fake Marta under the bus, squealing about the money she skimmed out of the Southfork deal. That got him a week but yeah, it’s quite predictable that Fake Marta will be Dead Veronica real soon — but not before she steals Elena’s cell phone and tricks John Ross into meeting her in Room 918 at a hotel. Usually, we like to poke a little light fun at these scenes, but, man, this was just plain bad. As soon as she scratches up John Ross’s neck, you know who’s going to get blamed for her death even before you know how she dies.

That’s an eye-roller.

Two obvious henchmen of Vicente’s are heading toward Fake Marta’s room as John Ross is leaving so it’s curtains for her, but how do we know she didn’t jump off the balcony herself when she saw them come in? All we know is her body lands on a car right on the way to where John Ross parked. Thank goodness he didn’t park there or she would have been in his convertible. After he gets over his initial shock, he begins to behave furtively. Witnesses notice. Someone takes down his plates.

As distasteful as that nudge from Sue Ellen was, Elena comes around and when John Ross returns to the ranch overwhelmed at seeing her safe and sound, she tells him she’s going to help. The police return, only this time not for Bobby. They take John Ross in for questioning in Fake Marta’s death. You really have to laugh at the lack of dialogue in this scene. Everybody just stands there gaping and John Ross gets in the police car, saying nary a word but with a soulful glance in Elena’s direction and a baleful glare at his Uncle Bobby. The expression on Bobby’s face is more like “you little piece of shit!”

Bobby may change his tune next week, because it appears that John Ross gets his lumps big time while wearing an orange jumpsuit. We may have to look into that preview a little deeper, too. Would they really lock up a Ewing in Dallas on some flimsy circumstantial evidence?

Dallas Season 1 Episodes: 1 : 2 : 3 : 4 : 5 : 6 : 7 : 8 : 9