You’ll Never Get a Chicken Recap: Shameless

The whole name of Episode 7 of Season 7 was “You’ll Never Ever Get a Chicken in Your Whole Entire Life,” which had to do with Liam’s storyline, now that the little fellow was about to go to elementary school. That also gave Frank something to do.

Bunch of Richie Riches ~ School janitor

Fiona sent Liam off to school, allowing him to walk the two blocks by himself. When he got there, the school was closed so he went back home. No one was there but Rocky the dog, but not for long– Rocky ran off when Liam opened the door to go down to the former Gallagher Home for the Homeless. There he found his daddy, Frank, pouring gasoline all around the place. If he can’t live there, Frank said, nobody else is going to. Dollface Dolores was seen hurrying her kids away before the match was lit. Frank and Liam skedaddled once the fire started.

Frank took Liam back to the school and found it was indeed closed but the janitor was in there. He explained that there weren’t enough poor kids to go to the school anymore because a new private school had opened nearby. The poor kids were being bussed to Lincoln Douglas Elementary with like 40 kids to a classroom. The private school was the old Blessed Virgin Catholic school Frank had attended as a boy. Frank went to check it out and told Liam to go play with the other kids. They had children doing yoga while other kids fed chickens. Frank ranted and railed at anyone within earshot, including children, about the injustice of his poor little brown boy being forced to go out of the district because of this discriminatory school. Naturally, he was told to leave before the gendarmes were summoned. Liam asked for a chicken and that’s where the title came in. Yup! That was THE line. We would have picked something shorter.

Frank took Liam to his new school. The bullies got hold of the little guy right off the bat. Frank headed back to the private school to harass the young students once again. Anne Seery, the headmistress, came out and invited Frank to her office for tea and Guatamalan dark chocolates. Ms. Seery’s solution to neutralize this nuisance was a scholarship for Liam to their $27K a year “hoity-toity cesspool of a school” That was Frank’s description but his opinion changed, especially since tuition to Hopkins Academy obviously included uniforms. The next morning Liam beamed “You’re a good dad,” when he came out in his new school duds and hugged his father.

Etta, stop! I’ll get you a sandwich!

And where was Fiona all this time? She had no idea what even happened to Liam after letting him go off. She was swamped with one problem after another as the new owner of the laundromat. Well, of course, you saw that coming with Lip’s dire predictions in the last episode. Fiona did not even know that there was a vast difference between buying a washing machine for your home and a commercial washer. Senile old Etta had yet to deposit the $80,000 cashier’s check Fiona gave her. It was lying on the floor with a bunch of junk mail and, worse yet, Etta was eating cat food.

Fiona learned that half the machines in the laundromat need to be repaired or replaced to the tune of $6,000. Next disaster: a gas leak. The gas company lady said they only do the repairs when it’s outside. She turned the gas off and advised Fiona to call her after it was fixed. The tab for that was going to be $1,800, $1,700 if Fiona paid in cash. Disappointly but predictably, Fiona went to Patsy’s Pies and helped herself to a $1,700 loan from the safe. On the way out, she learned that Patsy’s owner, Margo, was there for a mushroom burger. She decided to hit Margo up for some free business advice on top of the loan that the owner didn’t even know about.

Margo’s advice was “Don’t do it.” It takes a lot of money to make a lot of money, she said and most people don’t have what it takes to succeed in business besides enough capital: balls. Fiona went back to the laundromat and told the repair guy to get the money from Etta, the owner. She took her check back and ripped it up. Standing outside Patsy’s later still in possession of the $1,700, Fiona saw Rocky run by. The next morning, after a sleepless night, Fiona was at the bank depositing an $80,000 check into Etta’s account. Foolish indeed. Since she had to get a replacement check, why didn’t she just give Etta $50,000, and pay her back the $30,000 balance on a monthly basis?

You’re being a pain in the ass, Debbie ~ Neil

At Neil’s house, Debbie was a nervous wreck because she had to babyproof the place before the social worker arrived to inspect it, she had to go to her high school to quit, to parent re-education class, and get married. She was definitely being very bossy with Sierra and Debbie even commandeered Lucas’ room for Franny. At the high school, she took the GED test and only got 2 wrong, much to Fiona’s shock. (It took Fiona months to study for it). At parenting class, Debbie’s alternative solution to what she should have done instead of beating a homeless woman while holding Franny, was beat up Tanya. She would have if she had only seen the latter making a cell phone video. Debbie had to postpone marriage because Fiona would not leave the laundromat to go down to the courthouse and sign the consent. Back at Neil’s, Yolanda from DCFS (child services) arrived to assess the home situation Franny was now in. Debbie did not feel that went well, but Neil reassured her that she was a great mother and it would all work out fine. “I love you, Debbie,” Neil said as she gave him a bath, and she reciprocated the sentiment.

Other storylines

Lip grew closer with Sierra, as her worries grew that once Debbie married Neil, she and Lucas would have to move. Sierra also let her druggie ex Charlie take Lucas for the night. Sierra and Lip were having fun at an arcade when Noelle called to say that Charlie had left Lucas with her for over an hour and she had to go to work. Distraught, Sierra picked her son up and told Lip to go home but he felt it was better to stay by her side in her time of need.

Lip also learned in this episode that a clean-shaven Professor Youens had filed an appeal for him at the college and all he had to do to clear his record, even if he didn’t want to go back right away, was show up with some character witnesses.

Svetlana got rid of Yvon, only Kev and V didn’t know how. They were freaked out when Svetlana came to the Alibi covered in blood. At home, Kev found blood on a knife and his plastic tarp and duct tape were missing. V managed to resolve her trust issues with Svetlana in bed, but Kevin could not. One thing about it: If Yvon is dead, Svetlana is finally single.

Ian and Trevor worked out their boundaries and took their relationship to the next level.