Shameless Recap: The (Mis)Education of Liam

Another old love showed up in Episode 5 of “Shameless,” Season 8. This time it was Derek, Franny’s father! Carl had to make a lot of money in a little bit of time and Fiona got involved in the sale of an old church now owned by her boss and mentor, Margo. The full title of the 12-3-2017 episode, by the way, was “The (Mis)education of Liam Fergus Beircheard Gallagher.” If anyone said that full name, we missed it.

Isn’t that kidnapping? ~ Ian Gallagher

Carl chained Junkie Jones up in the Gallagher basement and forced him to detox for 5 days, then set him free to “go forth with courage and integrity.” During that time, Carl found out that he lost his scholarship to a half-blooded Comanche and would have to come up with $12,000 if he wanted to continue to attend the military school. He asked Fiona for a job at Patsy’s and cleaned out the grease trap, along with some other odd jobs that yielded him a measly $150 and left him smelling like “the gaping anus of death itself.” He hijacked Fiona’s car to undercut Uber drivers. It wasn’t looking good. Then Carl’s prospects turned completely around when Junkie Jones showed up with his strung out girlfriend, Nora-Jean, and $5,000 in hard cash. He told Carl that his folks wasted a fortune with 3 stints at Betty Ford on him but Carl straightened him out and asked him to do the same for his girl. Her folks were going to kick in $2,500 for the “Beaver Trap Detox Special.” All Carl needs at this rate is one more patient and the plebes will be doing his laundry.

You might want to think about finding that new sponsor now ~ Eddie

Lip was in the full throes of a seriously abusive affair with psycho Eddie. He had a split lip, a black eye, bruises and scratches all over him. Secretly, he is still pining for a meaningful relationship with Sierra and her son, Lucas. When he has to deliver the unsigned paychecks to Brad, Cami let him hold little Miles. He later told Eddie, in so many words, that he wishes he was in Brad’s spot. Brad doesn’t wish he was in his own spot right about now though. Overwhelmed, he gave Lip a list of interim sponsors and pretty soon, fell off the wagon. Lip found him drunk at the bar and tried to bring him home, but Brad got violent, punched Lip out and drove off in his truck. Poor Cami.

Franny got so big ~ Derek Delgado

Debbie was super happy that she was about to pass her exam and get her welding certificate. Duran and Farhad suggested that she leave Franny with Celia and go on a road trip to Joplin with them to celebrate. Celia readily agreed to mind the baby for a couple of days and just then, a woman walked into the room holding Franny. “That’s Pepa,” Celia said, “Derek’s girlfriend.” She explained that they drove in to surprise her for her birthday or she would have told Debbie. When Derek came out, Debbie was even more stunned. We really thought she would go ballistic, but when Celia asked her to sit down for a chat with them, she just said no and excuse me. She took Franny out of Pepa’s arms and left. Later, we saw her getting ready to go on the road trip with Duran and Franny. She had taken some drugs and danced with Duran while the baby laughed in her car seat.

My delusions of grandeur have faded as I’ve entered my 40s ~ Francis Gallagher

One of the mothers at Liam’s school lusted mightily after Frank. All that trowel talkin’ was making her pulse race but when she actually saw Frank working at the garden center with his hands black with wet soil, ooh la la! We thought that Liam might get kicked out of the academy this week what with the new student De’Andre coming in and Liam getting an F on the standardized test, but Frank cried “cultural bias” and his voice was heard in the foyers of social justice. Frank is now in his symbolic 40s and he’s been telling Liam how they must take advantage of the liberal robots at his school. When he catches up to his real age, it looks like that’s when he’ll turn back, full throttle, into Frank of old.

V, this isn’t healthy. You’re madder than a hornet in a coke can ~ Kev

Quite frankly, or maybe it’s quite bartly, the resumption of the war over the Alibi is a bore. If Svetlana is such a mastermind at the bar business, why doesn’t she just get her own place and leave Kev and V to their own devices? We actually agree that Svetlana should get a bigger share of the profits than Kev and V on the simple fact that she brings in the most business.

If one of those dopeheads ODs in there, they’re gonna sue my a$$ ~ Margo

Fiona found out that the abandoned church near her building (where all the neighborhood junkies take sanctuary) was for sale and her boss, Margo, owner of Patsy’s Pies, owned that too. Margo told her a homeless shelter was interested in leasing it. Somehow Fiona did not connect that to Ian and Trevor, in the “I know someone” way some people do no matter what you talk about. She was more concerned about finding the artists who were initially interested in buying it. So much so that she groveled to Mel for help. Mel made Fiona apologize for her being a mega c-word and then said no anyway. Later Mel came through because she didn’t want some yuppie bakery over there trying to sell her $12 vegan muffins. She gave Fiona the Toussaint brothers’ contact info and the deal was resurrected.

I get around ~ Quinton Fleet

Trevor took Ian with him to meet with rich philanthropist Mr. Fleet, who already donated large sums of money to Trevor’s youth program. They needed $10,000 to secure the church lease. Fleet agreed to give it to them without batting an eyelash. Ian got a funny expression on his face when he first heard Fleet talk and asked if he knew him from somewhere. Afterwards, Ian realized Fleet was a Friday night regular at the Fairy Tale, his prior place of strip-ployment. Later, when Fiona was able to get the art gallery brothers re-interested, the lease deal went kaput. Ian went to Fleet’s home and tried to blackmail him into donating $30K for a down payment. He threatened to tell his wife about the Fairy Tail. Turned out, his wife already knew all about it and Ian. She was holding the purse strings and was willing to loosen them up for her very own romp with Ian.

Ian took his down payment to Patsy’s where Fiona and Margo were going over the particulars with the Toussaints. This is when Fiona realized that Trevor and Ian were the ones she didn’t want having a homeless shelter near her building. And it was the complete opposite of “sorry, bro, I’ll back off.” She pulled Ian outside and told him in no uncertain terms that she didn’t want at-risk youth living near her building. She wanted the art gallery guys who would attract a better class of tenants and help her property value rise. She ordered him to “Find another church.”