Shameless Recap: The Fugees

Frank came face-to-face with two Canadian Mounties on his second trip to Canada in Episode 9 of “Shameless,” Season 8 (1-7-18). Sierra found out Charlie’s secret. Ford invited Fiona to a bowling match with all his exes and Carl bought Kassidi a promise ring, whose previous owner was purported to be Chicago’s own Iceberg Slim, author of “Pimp” and “Trick Baby.”

You’re not a freedom fighter– you’re an overpaid boy scout ~ Rami

Frank and his second group of refugees had to abort the operation when they were spotted by the Royal Canadian Mounted Police. Frank took off solo but Rami, a computational biologist at Loyola who overstayed his visa, ran after him. When the Mounties caught up with them, they were handcuffed and relieved of the money Frank was supposed to use to buy drugs. Hilariously, they were saved by a car crash with moose. They didn’t stop to find out if the Mounties were dead or alive or even get the money. Frank wanted to go back to the USA but Rami insisted they head north so off they ran, like The Defiant Ones, until they found a cabin. Frank was going to bust down the door but Rami pointed out that no one locks their doors in Canada. They were in the process of stealing a horse when it’s owner, a little girl named Jeni came in. She began hollering for her father and Frank somehow “accidentally” punched her so hard she was knocked unconscious with a bloody nose. The horse got them nowhere. They both fell off it and Rami had to rest his injured knee. They stopped squabbling when Rami confided he was afraid he would die out there in the wilderness when he was supposed to get settled in Montreal and send for his family. Frank told him that if he did, he would be a hero to his family. Then, omigod! When Rami fell asleep, Frank robbed him! Rejoice, folks! Shameless Frank is back! Well, not totally– he left Rami a few bucks. When he made it back to the Alibi, he cried poverty when everyone wanted their money back.

You got every right to be pissed. ~ Lip Gallagher

Lip spent the night with Eddie, the Tattooed Lady, at the Gallagher homestead but had to turn down his offer of breakfast to go babysit her niece, Xan. Barb was nowhere in sight to steer Lip away from his usual entanglements so Lip consulted an attorney at Patsy’s in a last ditch effort to help Professor Youens. The lawyer agreed to do what he could, maybe get a couple of years shaved off Youens’ sentence, but pointed out that he’s not Houdini. Charlie showed up to thank Lip for not ratting him out. Sierra later sat with Lip and said that Charlie was being a good guy and that’s what Lucas needs. The calm before the storm. She found out about Charlie’s baby when he had to leave dinner to be there when it was born.

Eddie knew something was up with Lip when he decided to work late. He asked her to help him relieve a little of his stress and she was amenable to a quickie. So there they were, in flagrante delicto, when Sierra arrived in tears. Lip rushed out after her but, after telling him what he already knew, she apologized for messing up his thing with Eddie and left. Charlie showed up at the bike shop the next day begging Lip to tell Sierra to take him back. Lip’s dilemma: Charlie is Lucas’ father and if he didn’t want Sierra himself, he knows he would help Charlie. But here’s how it turned out when Lip went to Sierra to plead Charlie’s case: they ended up in bed. Do you think Sierra is going to remember that she made the first move if she finds out that Lip knew and didn’t tell her? This was in fact a question that Lip posed to Fiona. Would it have been worse if Frank had kept quiet about Sean’s heroin use, she married him and found out later that Frank knew? Fiona advised him to let Sierra find out from Charlie. But we say the trust levels aren’t equal in those situations and Sierra will feel betrayed if she finds out Lip knew. Meantime, little Xan let Lip know that Eddie might be acting like it was no big deal but she was pissed.

You giving me ultimatums before we’re even dating? ~ Ford

Fiona hired Linc and Rodney to fix her roof for $550. Ford came over to fix a floorboard for free and invite Fiona to bowl at a trendy happy hour with his friends. Ford turned out to be quite the cosmopolitan and fluent in German, as he conversed with one of his exes. There were three of them there. He lived with one for a few years in Nepal. She spoke English and Mandarin. Monolingual Fiona was rescued from more inferiority feelings by a call from Nessa. Rodney the roofer fell off the building and was in the hospital. Ford went with her. The man’s wife said it looked like a broken ankle and Fiona offered to do anything she could to help. Ford said that was nice. Fiona questioned why he would invite her to bowl with his exes, pointing out that he ignored her the whole time. “If you’re not into me, just say need to say so,” she offered. Ford took that as an ultimatum. Fiona countered that despite what he thinks, she’s not “some messy complicated chick.” She’s an amazing catch. Later she apologized to the cello-repairing renaissance man for the ultimatum. He showed her how intriguing he found her with a kiss and promptly went back to his work. If you’re already seeing conflict ahead, it’s because just about every man Fiona takes up with will never put her first.

We are living examples of God’s creation, Jesus’ love ~ Ian Gallagher

Ian got a visit from Deacon Cook and Father Monroe, two men of the cloth who were on his side, to his profound surprise. He was becoming a leader for the kids whose parents were pressuring them to change what they were born as. Besides preaching that wasn’t what Jesus was about, Ian told them their parents were doing it because they were repressed homos. They all stormed into a church where Rev. Yates was performing a “gaycorcism.” Yates had the ushers remove them forcibly and they proceeded to protest outside. The reverend came out and got so steamed at their vulgar and explicit chants that he collapsed. Ian performed CPR, gave him mouth-to-mouth and sneered “Thank God” when he came to. Meanwhile, the Deacon and the priest said they would take up collections to help the kids. Trevor was so bowled over by what Ian had accomplished, it sure looks like the two of them are a thing again.

Dominance is in my DNA ~ Sir Ball

Kevin and V were thoroughly enjoying making Svetlana squirm under Kev’s dominance. He made Svetlana wear a “vampire blouse” as a uniform and stop calling them stupid in Russian. She also had to call Kev “Sir Ball.” Boom! Svetlana’s day got more miserable when Freelania Alexeyevich, “a blast from whoring past” showed up. Svetlana did not believe this ugly bottom-feeder found a wealthy husband but Freelania had an expensive ring to prove it. She said it was too bad Svetlana was still a bitter prostitute slave working for poor people, dropped $4,500 on the floor in repayment of 40 lbs. of lube and vagina cleaner and flounced out. Svetlana scurried after her and snapped a pic of the fancy car she got in. Svetlana spent a good deal of time on the computer after that and Kev and V demanded to know what she was up to. They were left speechless when she told them she had been collecting facts on the rich man Freelania married: “She gets to have American dream, live life of beauty and privilege,” Svetlana ranted, while she gets dumped on by two ex-lovers bent on stripping away her last bit of dignity. This was a nice twist, showcasing the characters’ true feelings. Kev may have some dominance in his DNA, but not enough to crush Svetlana.

He goes by the street name “Toto” ~ Debbie Gallagher

Debbie had to get up $2,500 for her tuition to welding school and she only had $200. Sound familiar? The lady at the registrar’s office took pity on her and allowed her to retroactively sign up to the extended plan. Debbie was making $40 a day taking care of a dog named Toto, who had a habit of going up to some people and barking. When Debbie and Toto passed by some dudes making a pot trade, they suddenly bolted at the sound of sirens and threw the weed away. Toto led Debbie to it and she realized what an incredible asset he was going to be. Debbie texted Duran and he arranged to sell the weed. Debbie took Toto out for some weed reconnaissance and she soon had all her tuition money.

That kid is doomed ~ Kermit

Kassidi continued to wrap her tentacles tightly around Carl, driving him to seek advice from Kev and V on how to convince her that their relationship would survive his next semester at military school. A jewelry dealer suggested Carl buy Iceberg Slim’s cubic zirconia as a promise ring for $100.00, that “looks just like the real thing.” (Surely, Iceberg had the real McCoy?) He explained that a promise ring is “like commitment with an exit route.” Carl blindfolded and handcuffed Kassidi before letting her see it. Promise shromise. She thought it was an engagement ring and, much to Carl’s shock, accepted the marriage proposal he never made.