My Oldest Daughter Recap: Shameless

Of course the title of Episode 2 of Shameless Season 4 (1/19/2014) leads you to think it’s something about Fiona, but you don’t find out it ain’t till the end!

“You’re a eunuch, Liam.” ~ Carl Gallagher

The episode begins with the Gallagher kids visiting the doctor (as in no more clinic) now that Fiona has insurance. 3-year-old Liam has eczema and may need surgery unless his other testicle drops. Fiona wants birth control pills and Debbie does, too. But that’s not happening. She hasn’t even gotten her period yet. Carl wants to get some Oxycontin for Frank. That’s not happening either. Frank is at home trying to get alcohol into his system through his eyes. Too brutal.

“I’ll see your muffin English and raise you.” ~ Jairo

Less muffin poker and more studying might get Lip better grades, but he doesn’t seem to give too much of a crap about his scholarship. After studying 15 minutes before a test and getting a 60%, he thinks it will be upgraded to passing. Plan B is to talk the tutor into giving him extra credit. Lip unwittingly tells Plan B to the tutor, whom he mistakes for a student. She ends up giving him more extra credit than he deserves but turns down his overtures at a party because she is hot for a grad student. Lip spots a girl from his neck of the woods but she shoots him down as the hood rat that he is. There’s hope yet when he spots Portia, a girl sitting on the stairs sending him unmistakable signals. She loves ’em hard and leaves ’em cold.

“You think the homophobes that come in this bar are gonna take to me as the owner?”

Stan’s son, Allen, comes to the Alibi Room for the Will reading. Allen and Stan were on the outs because Allen is gay. Stan insults him horribly in his Will, calling him his daughter and leaving his gun collection “in the hope that he’ll kill himself…” Stan leaves the Alibi Room to his foster son, Kev, who feels guilty. He makes a deal with Allen to send him $500 a month for 2 years. Allen takes the urn with Stan’s ashes, smashes it on the floor and leaves. Kate informs Kev that the Alibi Room is not the quite the goldmine he may have thought.

If he’s a classy guy, he’ll have a condom in his wallet. ~ Ellie

Holly and Ellie hang out with Debbie, who has a dinner invite from Matty. They offer her a condom in case he’s not a classy guy. At 13, Deb doesn’t feel she’s ready for all that, but the voices of experience (Ellie is already pregnant) advise her get Matty to buy her clothes, jewelry, an iPad or something from Urban Outfitters first. Now we were under the impression that Matty was a naive high school kid last week. But upon finding out that Matty lives by himself, Debbie checks his wallet, where she finds out that he is 20 years old and is a classy guy, at least by Ellie’s definition. She blurts out her age. Matty seems a bit surprised but says it cool. He proffers her dinner, hoping she likes chicken. “Who doesn’t like chicken,” she laughs. Matty bets chickens don’t like chickens and they decide to watch “Storage Wars.” He drives her home later.

You will reach your destination in 500 feet ~ Fiona Gallagher

Mike sends Fiona out on sales calls, complete with a company car that comes with heat and a meal. Mike has a bee in his bonnet because Fiona said she would call the night before and didn’t and keeps hassling her about it. That is, in his eyes, a lie. Fiona is more successful on her sales calls than was expected of her, but she becomes the victim of road rage on the way back. After exchanging insults with a tailgater, the guy gets out of his vehicle with a bat and smashes the windshield of the company car. Fiona lies to Mike about how it happened but he’s already seen a youtube online of the whole incident. Fiona is pissed about the way he handles this. He doesn’t call her lie the first time he hears it, but “tests” her by asking if she told the truth about how that happened. She says yes, and then he calls her out. Their confrontation ends in Fiona promising to try not to lie.

“If you die, can Frank have your liver?”

Ghetto nurse Veronica negotiates over a bottle of percocet with Carl when he informs her she has blood on her behind. She has to go to hospital where she discover she is having triplets! V is horrified. Kevin is ecstatic. V demands that her mother Carol get an abortion. Kevin and Carol say no. V tells Kevin he better get a ski mask and a getaway car to support his growing family.

Carl goes to the nurse’s station and gets home blood testing kits and finds out that a relative can donate part of his or her liver to Frank, but the donor has to be over 18. He gets Frank’s O positive blood type and finds out over the phone that Lip is not a match. Fiona is a match but she refuses to cooperate.

Frank tells Fiona that he will see if he can get help with the liver from his other daughter. Debbie, she points out, is not old enough. Frank reveals he has another daughter, his oldest, named Samantha. Fiona is shocked, even  though nothing Frank says or does should shock her anymore  Tune in next week to find out if Samantha is O positive, and what other drastic measures Carl will have to resort to to save his father.