Curtain Call Recap: AHS Freak Show Finale

As we headed into the finale of American Horror Story: Freak Show, Just about everyone that was left was guilty of murder, either directly or indirectly: The Tattler Twins killed their mother. Elsa Mars killed Ethel Darling, Jimmy’s mother, and his father, Dell Toledo. Desiree Dupree didn’t kill anyone directly (yet, anyway) but she got the confession out of Dell that he smothered Ma Petite at gunpoint, and then Elsa killed him. Desiree also led the call to steal Maggie Esmeralda’s jewelry and “bury the bitch” after Chester sawed Maggie in half (and his role in that murder will probably never come to light). The other freaks participated in that as well as turning Stanley into Meep #2.

And, of course, there’s Dandy Mott. He killed Dora Brown, the family cook, and paid a detective to kill her daughter, Regina. He killed all the women at the Tupperware party and framed Jimmy Darling for the crime. Dandy is now the owner of the Freak Show. He was our No. 1 candidate to be offed in the finale, but little did we suspect that first, Dandy would go on a murderous spree that would leave Paul the Illustrated Seal, Penny, Legless Suzi, Toulouse, Ima Wiggles and Amazon Eve dead. Oh, Amazon Eve did give Dandy a helluva beating just as he was about to find Desiree Dupree hiding in terror in her trailer, but he managed to get his pistol and take Amazon Eve down. By then, Desiree had changed to a hiding spot where Dandy would not look again so he must have figured she got away.

Then Dandy married Bette and Dot, who offered to do the “leave her body” trick while Dandy and Bette were consummating their union, but Dandy did not think a stallion like himself could endure that. The twins were most agreeable– at least until the celebration meal. After Dandy fantasized about all the freak babies they would have, he found out he had been drugged. Desiree and Jimmy showed up and they all informed him that he was going to pay for his misdeeds with his life. They hauled him back to the campground and put him in Hardeen Houdini’s water tank, manacled. Then they turned on the water and sat back with popcorn to enjoy the show. “You are the biggest freak of them all,” Desiree informed him, while Jimmy Darling asserted that “the freaks shall inherit the earth.” True to form, Dandy did manage to get out a few “I hate yous” before expiring.

Then the focus shifted to Elsa Mars, who was out in Hollywood having a bad time getting in to see Mr. Gable until she smacked his secretary. An Asst. V.P. named Michael Beck came to Elsa’s rescue, not the secretary’s. Soon she was the star of The Elsa Mars Hour and married to Beck, but she came to despise him and was bored and unhappy. When she was informed that she was contractually obligated to perform on Halloween, she flatly refused and haughtily sailed off to her mansion to meet Massimo Dolcefino. She wanted to run away to Italy and grow old with him but he only came to say goodbye because he had a month to live. Elsa cried but the tears were for herself, not Massimo.

The Mr. Gable and her husband came over to tell her that the famously mean gossip columnist Hedda Hopper had the goods on Elsa: footage of the snuff film where Elsa lost her legs. The two men had just watched it. Beck was outraged that she lied about how she lost her legs but Elsa didn’t give a shit. Gable had more bad news: how the freaks were all killed. Elsa decided that she “might as well go out with a bang” and agreed to perform on Halloween, which must have been coming before Hedda’s column.

The Halloween show brought back Edward Mordred, accompanied by Twisty the Clown who helpfully told her it only hurts for a few minutes. After she died, Mordred said she did not belong with them and Elsa went off to a Freak Show dimension where she was greeted by her beloved Ma Petite. All her dead freaks were there, even Ethel Darling. Elsa could not understand why she did not have to pay for her sins but Ethel assured her that stars never pay. So we assume it all means that Elsa’s good deeds and/or suffering in this world outweighed her bad deeds.

Desiree, Jimmy and the Tattler twins were stars, too, but living ones. Desiree married Angus T. Jefferson and had children. Jimmy married and knocked up Bette and Dot. And now we’ll never know if they have conjoined twins with lobster claws.

And we’ll never know what happened to Chester either. But, anyone who shows up at the police station, confessing to murder with a mangled dummy in hand, probably has a good chance at an insanity plea, even if they found out about the murders of his wife and her girlfriend.