Sammi’s Revenge: South Side Rules Recap – Shameless

In “South Side Rules” (Shameless” S5 E10 3/22/15), Fiona, Lip, Kev and Debbie all come to a fork in their respective roads and make choices. Sammi makes a choice, too.

After getting her walking papers, Sammi looked for a new place in the classified while refusing to clean, cook or pay bills for the Gallagher clan. Fiona couldn’t have been too concerned — she went over to husband’s to make sure his houseplants were watered while the water at the Gallagher house was turned off. She later complained that Sammi was “boycotting” her domestic duties — duties that are rightfully Fiona’s.

Fiona called Gus on the phone, trying to feel him out on whether she was forgiven for her night of passion with Jimmy. Gus was noncommittal but they set up a date to have Skype sex that he didn’t keep. When he didn’t answer her phone call right away, Fiona decided to go after Sean, who was seeing his ex-wife and kid off to Pittsburgh. At the same time she got there, Gus called but she sent his call to voicemail.

When she did go home, Debbie needed assistance in getting birth control from Planned Parenthood, like right away, because Derek decided he wanted to have sex with her that night. No, Debbie didn’t tell Fiona that but persuaded her by arguing she had been dating Derek longer than Fiona was married to Gus. At the clinic, the doctor warned Debbie that the pills would take 48 hours to work so if she was planning on having sex sooner, she needed to use an alternate method.

Ian continued to rebel against his regime by drinking coffee after taking his meds. He went off to work where he decided to stick his entire hand on the hot grill to see if he could feel something. He went back home and Sammi dressed his wound while he gave her all the ammunition she needed to get her revenge for Chuckie being sent to juvie. Ian told Sammi how he burned his other hand while trying to steal a helicopter and that was the reason why the MPs were after him. Then Ian went off with Mickey to the playground they used to frequent. Ian taunted Mickey for turning into his nursemaid, leading him into a fistfight that released both their pent-up tensions and they proceeded to get drunk.

Bianca worried that she and Frank had sex when she awoke, but Frank assured her that wasn’t the case. He still intended to take up where they left off, but she wasn’t feeling their “off the charts chemistry” and kicked him out. He wound up at the Alibi seeking advice on the way to Bianca’s heart. Kermit and V initially scoffed at Frank, but after hearing Frank’s good qualities (a lust for adventure and a bottomless libido), V offered this advice: “Make it like the world stops spinning when you look at her.” Frank returned to Bianca’s. When he rang the bell, her sister stuck her head out of the window and told him to get lost. Frank tried to gain access by getting on a dumpster and jumping up to reach the fire escape and ended up inside the dumpster. Bianca stuck her head out the window and seemed charmed by Frank’s impassioned speech: “Stick with me, woman, and you will not go gentle into that good night.”

Kev brought the twins to college where their incessant crying created a problem. Some of the coeds were planning on ratting Kev out. He solved the problem by selling a bunch of weed at a discount. That created another problem when it turned out to be “Spice,” a bad trip for anyone who used it. Amanda paid a visit to Lip to set up a game of naked Go Fish but Lip squashed it in favor of his meeting with Helene. Amanda was miffed — enough want her car back. When Lip found students acting crazy in the hall, he herded them into Kev’s room. Lip told Kev they will go to jail if anyone calls the police. While they argued, Joaquin (the hacker) jumped out the window and broke his leg. Lip loaded him up in the car and took him to Helene’s because he thought her husband was a doctor. He is, just not a medical one. Helene called 911 and scolded “noble thug” Lip when he objected. He has to make a choice, she warned: recognize that he is a promising, young college student and must stop behaving like a ghetto outlaw before he gets locked up and runs out of options. Lip chose to terminate his arrangement with Kev and sent him back home to V.

At Derek’s family barbecue, Debbie learned how his brother’s girlfriend escaped her dysfunctional family: she got pregnant. Debbie thought that was such an ingenious way of picking your own family that she chose to deceive Derek when they went back to her bedroom to have sex. That this is so not going to work out was telegraphed to the viewer when Debbie told Derek “I think I love you,” and he responded “You’re sweet.”

Frank was still waiting outside when Bianca’s sister angrily left because Bianca would not agree to chemotherapy or to fight against her condition in any way. Bianca explained to Frank that they don’t understand that she is fighting for her dignity. Frank of course understood and promised to never ask her to undergo chemo, or to think healing thought or tell her how much he loves her. After a few swigs of vodka, Bianca suggested they go get tattoos.

Fiona ended up at a bar with Sean who chastised her for trying to forget about her own problems by involving herself in his. Another fellow in the establishment misunderstood their conversation and got hinky with Sean, punching him and kicking him after knocking him down. Fiona managed to stop the fight. Defenses down, Sean gave in to his attraction to Fiona with a kiss but sent her home.

Mickey and Ian happily returned home singing “Love is a Battlefield” and decided to go on a real date to Sizzler, properly attired. As soon as they walked in the house to change, Sammi gave a little speech about what a good kid Ian is with a big heart who has some hard times ahead of him while The MPs awaited her signal. All Ian could do was say “Why, Sammi?” whiled they subdued and arrested him. When Mickey attempted to intervene, he found himself facing a loaded weapon. Fiona arrived just as Ian was being taken out. While she tried to find out what was going on, Sammi came out on the porch and said: “It’s a shame when someone you love gets taken away, isn’t it?”