There’s the Rub Recap: Shameless

The fifth episode of Season 4 of Shameless, There’s the Rub, opens with Fiona meeting up with Robbie in the parking lot of a sleazy motel, but it is to give him the boot, not to have fun because they rent rooms by the hour. Aside from informing Robbie that she’s on to his game. She doesn’t blame him for what happened, but needs it to end.

At the office, Mike continue to tease about Fiona’s birthday surprise and invites her to dinner with his parents and Robbie, who picks a fight with Mike for blocking money their dad was going to give him to move to Portland. They go in another room while Fiona helps Mrs. Pratt, eyeing the sibling spat apprehensively. Suddenly, she knows. The betrayal face is on Mike. Robbie storms out and Mike tells her to leave.

Well, at ease, gentlemen… I’ve always wanted to say that.

The military police show up in the college bathroom where Lip has taken refuge to study without distraction. They show him his social security number and a picture of Ian, who is AWOL and wanted for stealing a helicopter, surface to air missile and army issue boxer briefs. Lip says he doesn’t know Ian. He goes home to try to find him before the MPs do.

This is like a aerial photo of Ground Zero.

Sammi and Frank learn that although his broken leg is a masterpiece, the fastest he can get his hands on a big settlement is 12 months. Sammi vows to take care of Frank, who now claims that he has seen the light because Sammi didn’t treat him like the rest of his kids — rats leaving a sinking ship. Carl has gone above and beyond the call of duty for Frank. Hell, he is the one who broke Frank’s leg! So he is understandably less than thrilled with his new older sister and her kid, a sentiment Frank compounds by telling Carl he has feelings for Sammi, it’s his last chance to “get it right.”

I never hear of an Indian getting a liver transplant

Sheila learns that her Menominee Indian warrior, Roger Running Tree is taking care of his sister’s 5 kids after their mom ran off with a junkie. He also reveals he’s not Christian but just joined Christian-Mingle to meet up with nice white women. Frank horns in on their dinner and learns how native Americans deal with cirrhosis. They decide to make a sweat lodge. “It’s like snorting oxy, man.” Sheila offers her yard “to sweating it out.”

Kev is looking at a week out of business because the sidewalk in front of the Alibi is being torn up and the scaffolding is blocking his sign. Stan’s son Alan shows up demanding two $500 payments, or else. Kev laughs it off, “he’s gonna beat us to death with his limp wrist.” V reminds him that Alan inherited Stan’s gun collection.

These are the main events and Lip goes off to hunt down Ian with Debbie in tow. He learns his little sister is growing up as she tells him about her heartbreak with Matty and bathroom adventure with Seth. Their search leads them to Jimmy’s father, Ned, who has an Ian look-alike in his place after kicking the real thing out. He gives them an address where Monica supposedly lives. There they startle a naked but musical old lady who tells them where Ian is working. Ian seems really into his mixologist job and totally oblivious to the trouble he is in.

Mike does not fire Fiona when she gets up the nerve to go to work and her co-workers don’t have a clue what happened. They have a surprise birthday cake for her. She goes to Mike with an apology. She was trying to prove to herself that Mike was too good for her. Mike knows he was too boring for her.

“Never say die” Robbie can’t take a hint even after Fiona punches him in the face and spits on him. He shows up with some coke to celebrate her birthday. She chases him out with the bat but just leaves the packet of coke lying out in the open and you just know that will lead to trouble. It does — Trouble with a capital “T”.

Meantime, armed with Ivan the Terrible Vodka and a bucket of Cool Ranch Doritos, Kev and V go over to celebrate Fi’s birthday. The party is in full swing when Debbie and Lip return home. Debbie finds baby Liam unconscious with cocaine all over his face. A hysterical Fiona tells the EMT workers that Liam got into “her coke.” She is arrested at the hospital. As they take her away, everyone runs after her except Lip, who is truly horrified at her irresponsibility.

Sure seems like Fiona can kiss that job goodbye now. Liam is going to be okay but coming attractions show Fiona being held on $100K bail. Maybe one of the Brothers Pratt will come to her rescue. Since Robbie has such a big mouth, maybe he’ll come clean about how the coke got at Fi’s place. But we won’t hold our breath on that.