Shameless Quotes: Civil Wrongs

Here are some quotes from Civil Wrongs, Season 3, Episode 10 of Shameless:

Carl: How many slaves do you think George Washington had sex with?
Ian: More than Lincoln. Less than Jefferson.
Debbie: Can I use last night’s chicken bones to make soup?
Fiona: As long as they’re not in the trash.
Jimmy: Helping the world be a better place. I’m thinking about going back to medical school.
Fiona: Dr. Jimmy, huh?

Frank: Make no mistake — right now, it’s a horrible time to be gay… those breeders, all they want to do is stop us from having the sex that they wish they were having!
Frank: You saw what I did here. I’m your new rainmaker. I can get these rump-swappers to cough up cash night and day!
Abraham Paige: Rump-swappers? There’s a slur I never heard before.
Frank: You saucy tart, you.

Mike Pratt: What flavor’s your K-cup poison?
Fiona: I’ve never had one.
Mike Pratt: What? Well, let us usher you across the workforce coffee frontier.

Click here for the Shameless: Civil Wrongs Recap

Mandy: Why does Lip give a bleep whether that bitch Karen is alive or dead?
Debbie: It’s a mystery.
Debbie: You’re taking Mandy for granted…. She’s kind, she’s devoted. She’s not someone who’s feelings you can ignore. So stop being a dope and put her feelings first every once in a while.

Jody: Hey! I’m a nice guy. Patient. Not usually a violent dude but if you try to leave here one more time without telling us what’s going on in words we can understand, I will lift your tiny body over my head and throw you out the window.
Doctor: We won’t know how much damage there is until she wakes.
Sheila: Can we help her wake up? Can she hear us from there.
Doctor: Nobody knows and I don’t want to get myself thrown out the window.

Tommy: Whoa! If it isn’t Liberace!
Frank: Go ahead! Go ahead and mock but I have found a constituency willing to reward me for my talents.

Alistar Huddleston: We return homosexuals to healthy heterosexual lifestyles…. We believe homosexuality is an addiction that tears families apart.
Frank: I have a gay son and never have to worry about him impregnating some skanky neighborhood slut…
Alistair Huddleston: We can pay you more… we deliver women to you to have sex with til you’re cured…

Lip: How did we get this mixed up with two people from the Milkovich family?

Abraham: Can you tell me where I can find Frank Gallagher.
Kev: Best bet. Nearest jail or gutter.

Sheila: You didn’t make her sad, Lip. She was so happy when she got that text from you….
Lip: Text? Do you have Karen’s phone here?

V:  Attention people. Kevin is gonna be a daddy!

Sheila: You’re a prince, Jody.
Jody: Stop.
Sheila: I think that you’re her prince.

Jimmy: Fiona, I’m gonna be a great doctor!

Scotty: Give it to me, Rihanna!
Abraham Paige: Oh my god!
Scotty: I can fix him. I can try harder.
Abraham Paige: You let yourself be brainwashed by Alistair Huddleston and his Return to Paradise Project lunatics?
Frank: I thought she was a he. She was wearing Pendleton plaid and combat boots. Paul Bunyan’s blue ox would have been fooled. All she needed was an ax…. I’m gay. I’m completely 100% gay.
Abraham Paige: Good. Now you’re gonna prove it… I like to watch.

Jody: She came… she came to. You gotta get the word out. I found the cure to comas!