Secret Life: Holy Roller Recap

How can you not like an episode of SLOTAT with Tom in it? People are trying to have sex with him left and right at his job to get him fired but Tom knows the secret of resistance: just look at your paycheck!

The “Holy Roller” title of this episode (7/23/12) would sort of make you think it revolved around church and Grace trying to convert everyone now that she’s a practicing Christian again, wouldn’t it? But the church scene was pretty short and Grace was in no mood to convert anyone after it was over. Feeling hypocritical about his motives for being there, Ben left early with Henry, who felt uncomfortable too, being a Catholic, what with the lack of statues and holy water. Alice is a Buddhist and was totally out of her element.

We did find out that Ethan has a heretofore unknown, however rusty, skill: he can play the organ. Adrian got a kid to take a photo of her and Omar to prove to the school board that they aren’t just together for sex. Her saying sex in church freaked out the kid but that didn’t stop Adrian from making a loud remark about sex and Jesus. Omar informed her that Jesus never married. “And?” she asked blithely.

Amy’s feathers were ruffled by seeing her father with Kathleen, but if that wasn’t bad enough, Jack comes waltzing in with Madison. Grace rises and blurts out “What the hell is she doing here?” Yeah, very Christian of you, Grace.

So the rest of the episode was more about Kathy trying to get a kiss off Ethan while they get to know each other.

Adrian met Omar’s mom, played by Lorraine Toussaint, whom we know and love as the redoubtable Shambala Green on Law & Order.

They made it seem like Ricky and Amy were going to ‘fess up, separately, to Margaret and Shakur about their true marital state, but the phony spouses didn’t. Instead, George let himself in their apartment and there was the notebook with the non-wedding DVD in it and he watched it. George left and came back later, pretending he never saw it but making a big deal out of throwing his support behind Anne in giving them a “second” more proper wedding. He emphasized that he wanted to see them say their “I do’s.” Wow, Ashley is right. George isn’t a very good liar. That should have given it away and it did occur to Ricky that he saw the DVD, but Amy nixed it off, saying George wasn’t that clever. Such a shallow girl!

As unhappy as Grace is about adding George to her family, Amy is twice as unhappy and feels that George now cares more about Grace than her. She has the added burden of not being comfortable with her Mom’s gay revelation. She confides in Margaret that she just does not want her parents at her wedding. She doesn’t even feel like she has a family anymore. Margaret points out that Ricky and John are her family now. Well, at least she didn’t say “the world does not revolve around Amy Juergens who is lying about being Amy Underwood.” We’re sure she would have if Amy had confessed.

Ben and Dylan have not learned their lesson one bit. Leo doesn’t want Ben to have anything to do with Dylan, period! He’s got Dylan’s number and as long as he is supporting Ben, that’s how it’s going to be. It looks like Pudding Pop, on the other hand, can be persuaded. As Dylan listens to Michael Jackson’s “Ben,” he comments on how appropriate that is, because Ben Boykewich is a rat. Dylan wheedles and cajoles, we see him waver, but it is Dylan’s mom who caves first when Ben calls and lets them talk. In one short conversation, Dylan manages to cook up a plan where they can make it happen. Dylan will pretend to be dating Henry and Ben will date Alice. Henry, at least, is cool with the idea. Well, you know where this will lead — lots more trouble. In fact, in the preview, Camille punches Bens lights out! Now that we can’t wait to see.

Kathy finally got her kiss from Ethan, who laughed when he kissed her, which kind of threw him. That’s not the only thing about Kathy that Ethan finds unsettling. The fact that she has made up her mind to give up her child without any reservations seems to bother him. Does he want to play house with Kathy and be a papa to her baby to make up for having a bad daddy? Could be … but in any event, it’s a good thing that they are bringing in new teen story lines, what with most of the main cast in college now.

That’s where we thought they were going with the Ashley and Toby storyline, setting things up so the next generation of teens could take over the drama but they shipped Ashley off to Italy faster than you could say “pasta fazool.” Well, they can probably get her back faster than you can say “my birth control didn’t work.”

They better do something or pretty soon they’ll have to change the title to Secret Life of the American Grown-ups.