Bunheads: Money for Nothing Recap

It’s the 5th episode of Bunheads and it’s called “Money for Nothing.” That has nothing to do with the opening when Michelle wakes up to find a visiting possum in bed with her. A possum that doesn’t even have the decency to play possum. She’s never seen a possum before so she has to call Fanny and tell her something is in her bed.

Just give him cabfare and change the locks. ~ Fanny

Michelle is paralyzed with “rat fear” until Fanny reveals its species, the possum hisses at her and she flees.

Truly and Fanny are going through the bills because it’s Paying Season. Michelle makes pop culture references that Truly does not understand, like the carrot sticks in Fast Times at Ridgemont High, but we do so we wonder if this is really ABC Family. We do find out a few things in this episode about why Fanny is not rolling in the clover. Her income is, shall we say, very limited. Only 9 out of 75 dance students pay for lessons.

Segue to Boo starting out at her new job at the Oyster Bar. The “senior” manager is showing her the ropes, the tables named after colleges, and the dumpster. Part of her job is dumpster-jumping, squishing the garbage bags down so the lid will close.

Give it some oomph. More oomph. C’mon, you’re a dancer…. So — do you have a boyfriend? ~ Jeff

Boo stinks like “a Superbowl party, an old Superbowl party from like the first Superbowl and it’s all covered in burnt microwave popcorn” when she goes to dance practice.

Michelle encounters Paradise’s tush expert, Sal, who wants to get paid, not for figuring out your dance specialty by looking at your arse, but for services rendered to the dance school. We continue to wonder if this is really ABC Family as he admires Michelle’s multi-tush, “a good trained tush.” He reminds her that a good trained tush “is a terrible thing to waste” — there are no dances companies in Paradise, no regional, no Broadway. Michelle departs to relay Sal’s threat about ripping the toe shoes off the little girls in mid-jeté.

The bunheads visit the Oyster Bar to indulge in fries and secretive ogling when they find out that Rico’s son, Godot, is back from Costa Rica. He’s not just back, he’s got his shirt off. Lordy!

Michelle wants Fanny to add all kinds of new dance classes to generate income, but she doesn’t want to help teach them. She wants to be the “bad cop” enforcer who makes people pay. Frustrated, Michelle shows up at the Oyster Bar to complain to the bunheads about Fanny and to help them eat their fries. Fast-talking Michelle is so loud and not so secretive about their Godot discovery that the bunheads can’t wait for her to leave. They even let her take a generous handful of fries. Sasha tries to work her charms on Godot but he acts like she is not even there. Talk about feeling stupid. LOL! Sasha must have felt like the big zero she always tries to act like Boo is. Well, at this point, maybe Sasha doesn’t feel the total thrust of it, but she’s about to when Godot takes a big interest in Boo and rescues her from dumpster chores. He informs her that Jeff is a “douchebag” and only the “senior” manager in his mind, and he gives her his coconut snickerdoodle-smelling shirt so she won’t stink. And yes — another shirtless moment. We have a feeling there will be many more.

Michelle totally gets carried away with her mission to straighten out Fanny’s finances and delivers a very offensive lecture at the dance school about paying for the lessons. “The gravy train is ova. The bus of freeloading has reached its destination. It’s time to get off. Nothing, and I mean nothing, in life is free!”

This backfires and would totally ruin Fanny’s Spring Festival except Michelle is willing to eat crow, even if she hates possums. She calls everyone and apologizes profusely, blaming heavy medication, and even has to give the parents of the twins, who were paying full price, a half-off discount. Fanny brings up the teaching again but Michelle is adamant. “That’s you, not me.” (At least until next episode we predict).

When the bunheads show up to pick up Boo, they see Godot yell out “Bettina!” and are shocked to see he is very friendly with Boo. Godot gives her a CD to listen to and says he wants a full report tomorrow. Boo tells the girls they are just friends. They notice she doesn’t stink and find out she’s wearing Godot’s shirt. Shallow Sasha feels so slighted, she just has to try to shoot Boo down. “There’s tartar sauce on your pants,” she says snippily.

Fanny’s “Paper or Plastic” show goes off smoothly despite Michelle having to find a replacement for the trees. Everyone loves it. Sal is blown away and some free Dancing Pants advertising makes him forget his dire toe shoe threats. LOL! Of all the suspend your disbelief moments, this was the biggest hoot. After what he said to Michelle (about Paradise, not her butt), we thought Fanny and her students were his only customers.