Secret Life: Past History Recap

The tell-or-don’t-tell Amy and Ricky dilemma continues in Secret Life’s “Past History” (7/16/2012), as well as the gifts they are not entitled to because they are not really married. Mimsy sends Amy $1,000. Ricky wants her to give it back because Mimsy has Alzheimers and may need it. Amy points out that Mimsy sent Ashley $10,000, and that Mimsy is her grandmother so Ricky has no say in whether she keeps it or not. Amy as a willful liar is more than a little strange but she has her reasons.

She waltzes off to school with the $1,000 in her bag, sticks it in her locker and forgets to lock it. But not before she runs into her “mentee” Kathy who has been hanging out in the hall being rude to all and sundry while waiting for Amy. Ethan tries to hit on her, Grace is too perky and Kathy hates perky, plus she’s a Jesus freak. Kathy freaks her out for sure, telling her to go to hell. Ben mutters déja vu after she practically bites her head off. But when she finds out that Ben was Amy’s boyfriend, suddenly she’s all smiles in Ethan’s direction. As much as Amy would like to put the kabosh on that, Kathy has a mind of her own.

At college, Clementine recognizes Ricky who doesn’t recognize her. But Clementine is what is known as perspicacious. She also recognizes that Adrian is not Ricky’s wife but has her eye on him. Jack has his eye on Clementine but later admits to Grace that he loves her.

Who plays Clementine? Marielle Jaffe, who just turned 23 last month.

Kathleen gets her divorce papers but tells George she is still reluctant to give him the green light for sex, unless she is sure of his intentions. George has music for her ears. He wants to marry Kathleen and spend the rest of his life with her for all the right reasons. Evil future step-daughter Grace pops in to ruin their happy ever after wallpaper removal and painting plans. George has a talk with her and suggests she do her own redecorating with Jack.

Is it the end for Ben and Dylan? If their parents have anything to say about it. Not to mention Dylan’s Gang – or should we say gangsters? “Be afraid, be very afraid,” Raven warns Ben, if he makes any more trouble for Dylan. It turns out that Dylan’s excuses to the detective are true (the fire was caused by something wrong with the gas lines and not making smores on the Bunsen Burner), Ben’s off the hook. Leo still orders Ben to stay away from Dylan. He can only see Alice and Henry. Ben spills his guts that he slept with Alice to his father. What in the world is wrong with him?

We don’t think we’ve seen the last of Dylan and her crew, though. Katelyn Tarver says on her blog that she’ll be in a few more episodes. More likely, we’ve seen the end of Toby, now that Ashley’s off in cooking school in Italy. And to think, his last scene was eating the last chunk of pork out of the beans Nora made. Maybe Ashley will return someday soon and make him a decent meal. Did you know you can go to cooking school in Italy for a week and they even have 3 day courses!

Speaking of sightings, we get our first look at Kathy’s grandmother, who thinks it’s “cool” that her pregnant 15-year-old grand-daughter has a boyfriend. Well, she doesn’t know Ethan yet and she’s probably just glad to see a smile on Kathy’s face. Kathy’s grandmother is played by Marlene Forte. We just saw Marlene on “Dallas” last week, where she plays Southfork cook, Carmen, the mother of Jordana Brewster’s character, Elena.

As interesting as all this is, it’s not half as cool as the wedding Margaret and Shakur are planning complete with Ricky and Amy riding in on elephants. Nora is on board to help convince Ricky and Amy to have a real wedding that no one will forget, especially the elephants. They never do.