Strangers on a Train Recap: Shameless

Fiona continued to be helplessly attracted to Mike’s ne’er-do-well brother, Robbie, in “Strangers on a Train,” the fourth episode of Shameless, Season 4 (2-2-14), while Frank found out that finding a match is not automatic guarantee of getting a liver transplant.

I can’t be over here Dr. Phil-ing your ass. ~ Veronica

The episode opens with Fiona on the train. Who should get on but Robbie, her boyfriend Mike’s brother with whom she has already been unfaithful after Robbie got Mike drunk. Almost like it’s choreographed, half the car empties out at the next stop, including the lady that was sitting next to Fiona. Robbie sits down next to her, helps her have an orgasm and gets off at the next stop. Neither of them say a single word to each other the entire time. An old lady on the train gives Fiona a dirty look, though we don’t know what she could possibly have seen. Fi gets no sympathy from Veronica who reminds her of all the bad boys she has been attracted to and how she needs that job — Mike is also Fiona’s boss.

Game recognizes game. ~ Robbie

Later, Robbie shows up at Worldwide Cup to hit his father up for money, sending sexy texts to Fiona while Mike talks to her about her upcoming birthday. She goes over to Robbie’s intending to get it through his skull that it’s over. But, Robbie is one magnet she can’t resist. Their passion is interrupted by an unexpected visit from Mike. While she hides under a table, Mike lectures Robbie about the money he weasels from their dad. Robbie offers Mike a drink, directing him to the refrigerator (knowing he would see Fiona under the table) but stops him with a bottle of water. Fiona is furious after Mike leaves and he taunts her some more by claiming to get a call from his girlfriend. We feel kinda bad for Mike and also wonder if Robbie had a hand in breaking up his marriage.

Frank can you please keep the nonsense rambling down to a minimum ~ Kev

At the hospital, Samantha obviously has no idea Frank is her father and is still coming on to him. He goes to talk to the doctor who lays out his chances of getting a pro bono operation, assuming Sammi is a match. He tells the doctor Sammi is his daughter. She says there are thousands of people on the list who are all dying like him. To pay for it, he’s going to have to come up with $150K, give or take $10K. Sammi comes out and plants a big undaughterly kiss on Frank’s mouth, much to the doctor’s shock.

Frank appears at the Alibi rambling about historical incestuous dynasties and how Oedipus “ruined it for all of us.” After nixing plans to burn down his house or Sheila’s, he hits on the idea of having an accident at Sheila’s so he can collect on her liability. He goes over her house and loosens a stair board with a crowbar, takes a tumble, then goes to see a lawyer.

If you don’t have the stones to hobble yourself, find someone who’ll do it for you ~ Lou

Lawyer Lou tells Frank that his injury doesn’t even amount to a sprain and he’d be lucky to get $2,000. He needs to do a lot more damage, like a mangled femur or two empty eye sockets. Frank enlists Carl’s help in breaking his leg. Carl obliges by drugging Frank’s soup and tying weights to his arms and legs and jumping on Frank’s leg. Is this kid the most resourceful Gallagher, or what? Even before that, he broke into V’s padlocked medical cabinet and got Frank a supply of percocet.

Random destruction makes you think of me? Mandy

After the professor refuses to let Lip in for a mid-term because he is 6 minutes late, Lip tries an appeal. Dean Wheeler reminds him of Jay Santos who was the runner-up for the scholarship Lip is taking for granted. Lip loses it and goes on a spree, smashing up the windows of half a dozen cars. Eluding the campus police, he goes home and looks up Mandy. She gets mad when he says he is not going back to college. She’s also not happy with him only having $6 and suggesting that she take a gamble on being pregnant, instead of buying a morning after pill. Mandy punches Lip in the face. He goes to the Alibi and gets a big lecture from Kev, who also thinks he’s taking the easy way out. Lip returns to college and prevails upon the professor to say “this kid deserves a break.”

So, uh, how do you want to do it? ~ Seth

Holly gives Debbie some more advice on how to get Matty’s engine going, while she deigns to let a young boy named Seth wait on her. Debbie visits Mandy for even better advice. Mandy explains that she has to assure Matty that she won’t go crying to the cops and should send him sexy selfies. Debbie can’t bring herself to send Matty a selfie of herself without a bra on so she takes a snapshot of some naked boobies in Carl’s girlie magazine and sends that. He immediately sends her a text message to come over. When she gets there, she throws him down on the couch and straddles him the way Mandy showed her with her boyfriend, Kenyatta. But Matty throws cold water on her advances again. He loves spending time with her, he says, but at 13, she’s just too young. A frustrated Debbie storms off and goes to the mall to look for Holly. Instead she finds Seth and invites him into the bathroom. Both claim prior experience but look to the other to figure out what to do. Debbie decides to take her shirt off but can’t bring herself to do it. She goes home crying. We’ve got such a soft spot for little Deb and hate to see her crying but damn! It’s a shame Fiona is not paying more attention here. She tries to comfort Debbie, who confesses she messed up with her boyfriend. The first thing Fiona should have done was ask “how” Debbie messed up. Instead she related it to herself, saying she doesn’t know what she’s doing either!

After Sammi informs Frank they are not a match, Frank goes on an unfair cosmic rant, and lets it slip that Sammi is his daughter. Furious, she throws him and his wheelchair out. Later, she goes to the Alibi and forgives him.