Shameless Recap: God Bless Her Rotting Soul

It’s quite a strange experience waiting for Frank to do something shameless on “Shameless,” especially if he never does. “God Bless Her Rotting Soul” (11-19-2017) did feature a couple of misbehaving characters, but they weren’t members of the Gallagher clan.

The Gallaghers had to bond together to pay Monica’s partner in crime, Eric, back for the meth they swiped from the storage unit. At first, they thought they could skate with Frank’s suggestions: Eric didn’t know where they live and, even if he found out, they would just pretend they knew nothing– the secret of the lost meth went to the grave with Monica. They would never have to tell Fiona they got in this mess.

The French use too much butter in their cooking and they refuse to pronounce the letter H ~ Francis Gallagher

Frank went off to work with a new name tag. He had decided he would henceforth be known as Francis. He no longer resonates with a hard K. He wasn’t down with the “came from France” meaning and preferred following in the footsteps of St. Francis of Assisi, patron saint of animals. Frank chose October 4th, the saint’s feast day, as his new birthday. He told all that to a young Jones, an employee who just wanted to know what to do about some orchids a kid knocked over. By the time he got done, Jones couldn’t remember what he wanted to tell Frank. When Fiona showed up to buy some supplies, “Saint” Francis refused to use his employee discount to help her because it was unethical. Hilarious!

He tried to kill a guy with a spoon ~ Ian Gallagher

It didn’t take Eric long to find the location of Chez Gallagher and that brand new hot tub in the backyard said volumes about what they knew. Carl wasn’t saying much because Eric was dunking his head underwater when Ian got there and armed himself with a baseball bat. Eric was not alone and Ian soon found a gun pointed in his face. Eric demanded the return of his meth or $70,000 in 24 hours or they would have to start worrying about Debbie, Liam and Fiona. They scrambled to get as much money together as possible without going to Fiona to find out what she did with the last 2 bags of meth. Ultimately, they had no choice.

Fiona agreed to help but first, each and every one of her siblings had to pay her the respect she deserved by saying: “I was wrong, and you were right, Fiona.” Only Carl refused to cave on that. Frank showed up, claiming he was stricken with a new emotion called “guilt.” He was there to help. Off they went to the cemetery to exhume Monica’s coffin and retrieve the meth. It was rough going until Carl appeared with a backhoe, pulled the coffin up out of the ground and promptly dropped it upside down. Monica’s remains rolled out and Fiona had to get in there and grab the meth, as everyone gagged and retched from the stench. At that point, Carl told Fiona she was right and they were wrong.

They all marched to the storage unit, with the smell of Monica and coffin dirt on them. Eric calculated that they were still short about $37K, even with the return of the 2 bags, the money and the hot tub. Frank took it upon himself to inform Eric that half the meth legit belonged to Monica because she was Eric’s partner. Therefore, Eric wasn’t getting diddly squat beyond what they just gave him. Monica was back in the ground, he declared, and “if you come near my family, Eric, with God as my witness, I’ll bury you with her.” Frank came through and earned Fiona’s respect to the extent that she was moved to say “Thank you, Francis.”

If you wanna go ghetto on me, I will beat you at that game ~ Fiona Gallagher

Fiona was able to evict her non-paying tenant, but the matriarch of the unruly tribe of children took her revenge by trashing the place, with scrawled insults on walls she smeared with soiled diapers. Oh, and we were wrong that Fiona wouldn’t run credit checks. She said she paid $140 for a couple of reports. (As you may know, in the real world, the prospective tenant pays that nonrefundable fee so we’re not gonna say “you were right, Fiona.”) Nessa’s girlfriend, Mel, showed up to say that their friends, Charlotte and Trotter from the gym, wanted the place. Before they got there, a guy named Bahir agreed to take it. Mel waylaid Bahir on his way out to inform him he better forget it. She claimed the building was infested with bedbugs and he ought to burn the clothes he was wearing. Mel’s friends thought they could get the apartment for $600 a month. Fiona refused even when they went up to $700. She pointed out that Bahir was willing to pay the full $1,000 while Mel laughed up her sleeve. Later, Fiona found out about Mel’s duplicity and bluntly let her know she better back off. When it comes to dirty tricks, she would prove a piker compared to Fiona.

Where you aware you are from the Huntsville subgroup? ~ Dr. Crowley

Kevin was on a tear, advocating self breast checks for everyone and anyone who crossed his path, even showing Fiona the proper way to do it– on her. He insisted on paying money for a full report on his orphan genes in case he had unknowingly passed something on to the twins. Kevin was abandoned in a gas station in Ohio as a baby. He learned that he was a member of a small inbred group of people known as The Huntsville subgroup of Kentucky who were isolated during the Johnston flood in 1826 and not found for over a century. Veronica learned more about them online but Kev wanted no part of it. They were bad people for abandoning him and “what if they try to eat us” because they’re inbred. She finally got him to make a phone call and as soon as he told the part about being left in the gas station, they were like omg, it’s Bart!

On the Svetlana front, a Russian realtor named Anya came to the Alibi with intent to sell. Veronica picked up Evgeny with a mission in mind, told Kev not to show her anything and marched off. Kev asked Anya woman if she examines her breasts on a regular basis. At the jail, Veronica laid down her terms to Svetlana: sign over the bar and she’ll tell them they are legit married. Svetlana refused, they haggled and settled on Svetlana keeping 1/3 of the bar, paying Kev’s medical bills, watching the kids 3 days a week and keeping the books. She also has to teach V how the finances work, but not Kev because “he is too stupid for math.”

It’s over, Debbie. I’m in love with my nurse and you’re a horrible person. ~ Neil

Debbie’s co-workers warned her that she was making a mistake letting Lakisha give Neil his sponge baths, if she still had any feelings for him. Debbie admitted that she was pretty much through with Neil except for his disability money. If she left him, she wouldn’t have enough money for rent and childcare. It was already too late! When she got home, there was Lakisha snuggling up to Neil, who told her it was over. Lakisha loves him and mean Debbie’s only been using him. Poor Neil. He is right about Debbie but Lakisha is using him too. She planned that move!

We’ll stop by the drugstore and see what they’ve got for existential pain ~ Lip Gallagher

Professor Youens really got himself jacked up in more ways than one. He was driving, drunker than a hoot owl, when he just passed out at the wheel and plowed into a house The owner was inside but, fortunately, he did not hit her or anyone else. He broke both his arms and some ribs and Lord know what else. He got locked up but his family would not answer his calls. Lip bailed him out, took him home and got him some food. Lip even opened the Professor’s vodka bottle while trying to get a lawyer on board to represent him. As soon as they heard it was his 5th DUI, they all hung up. (Was his license even valid??) Youens knew he was going to lose his tenure and get fired, but he couldn’t deal with the prospect of prison. Thus, he was trying to figure out a way to drink himself to death, rather than commit suicide. As much as he appreciated Lip’s good intentions, he asked him to “piss off.” Lip was pretty irritated by that but Brad reminded him how par for the course that was for most of the members of their 12-step group, including the two of them. The 12-steppers all showed up on Youens’ doorstep, not for an intervention: just to sit around and tell him their stories. He didn’t have to do anything but listen. When they said he could drink his booze too, he let them in.

As predictions continue to roll in that Frank’s rebirth won’t last long, we have to say it could last all season for our money. Frank could rename himself Socrates and he would still be as crazy sober as he is drunk, just not despicable. If you’re in a betting mood, however, how many more episodes would you give Season 8, before drunk Frank returns?