La Toya Sets Another Record: Celebrity Apprentice

All throughout Celebrity Apprentice 4, Donald Trump has been accused of keeping celebrities who should have gotten the gate just to boost the drama. At the outset of the May 8th 3-hour special, the Donald proved he was thoroughly sick of the bickering divas. NeNe Leakes was sent to the men’s team with her homegirl La Toya Jackson, and Meat Loaf was sent to the women’s team to replace her. Now we have to call them by their team names because they’re no longer men and women teams.

There will be two challenges tonight and presumably one person will get fired before the second task comes up. That’s not exactly what happens.

Team ASAP consists of Marlee Matlin, Star Jones and Meat Loaf, who will head up the first challenge: to manage, produce, host and sell tickets to an original Comedy Show. The winner will be the team who raises the most money.

On Team Backbone, it’s La Toya Jackson on her second go-round, NeNe Leakes, and original members Lil Jon and country man, John Rich (we still remember not to call John Rich a country boy). La Toya steps up to the plate to manage the Comedy Show project.

Right at the outset, NeNe Leakes goes AWOL. She just ups and leaves, without a word to La Toya, Lil Jon and John Rich. There’s goes their advantage with having one extra team member. When Ivanka Trump shows up, they duly report the Case of the Missing Atlanta Housewife. Donald Trump gets NeNe on the phone and she refuses to come back.

Raising money turns out to be a challenge that La Toya can’t handle because she doesn’t like to leave messages. She won’t leave Larry King a message, then her biggest donor had to turn her down and she was crushed. Last week, Donald Trump said La Toya didn’t have to come back because she had plenty of money. Maybe she should have brought some back with her. All she got out of Paris Hilton’s parents, her personal friends, was $1,000. John Rich feels he pretty much tapped out his donors with the art show but he has an ace up his sleeve: his friend, Jimmy Fallon, who kicks in 10 grand and also sings a song he wrote for them: “You’re Fyred.” If the signficance of spelling “fired” with a “y” was explained, we missed it.

At ASAP, Meat Loaf got some donations from Billie Jean King and “someone named Herb Alpert.” LOL. We know who he is. We even know his birthday — he was our featured birthday video on March 31st.

Star meets with comedian, Tracy Morgan, and is sure they’ll nail it down. Meatloaf starts worrying they’ll lose and all the money he raised will go to La Toya. His charity, Painted Turtle, will get nothing. He goes on a crying jag and Star calls Trump up to try to convince him to let Meatloaf keep the dough for Painted Turtle, win or lose. Trump says no.  Marlee tells the weepy rock star to get his act together or they’re really screwed.

ASAP Comedy Onstage, Meat Loaf overcomes hysteria and tells everyone if they don’t laugh, he’ll personally kick their asses. Their 3 comedians do a good job, then they play a video with Star and Tracy Morgan which centers upon Star being a lawyer. Marlee does a comedy bit show, and Meat Loaf wraps up by saying his name is a lot better than being called Dick. Probably Meatball, too. After the show, Meat Loaf still thinks he’ll be devastated if ASAP loses.

Backbone Comedy: Little hoarse voiced, La Toya was the emcee, their 3 comedians also do a good job. Jimmy Fallon embellishes upon his “Fyred” song, adding “So have a mimosa and call up Omarosa and find out how it feels to hear those words.” The audience was singing along and having a great time. La Toya is keeping her fingers crossed that they raised enough money.

In the boardroom, Trump compliments Meat Loaf on his big heart, setting off more waterworks. Trump says to get all the money, you have to kick the other team’s ass. Meat Loaf has high praise for Star. Marlee says Meat Loaf is a gem … he’s a keeper. Trump announces that NeNe left, quit and gave up. Trump says it’s happened before and those people always called him back to say it was the worst decision they ever made because everyone call them a loser and a quitter.

Laugh On Quote Roundup: Celebrity Apprentice

“So to you, NeNe,” Donald pronounces: “I say, you’re fired and you’re a quitter and Star Jones kicked your ass, whether you like it or not.” Star shakes her head in pleased agreement, even though she’s a lawyer. The Donald Ego may be clueless that you can’t fire someone who has quit, but if NeNe was to try to collect unemployment, Star would definitely point that out.

Backbone team members had nothing but compliments for each other. Trump praised La Toya as “solid” and “intelligent” and said not many people even know how intelligent her brother was. John Rich says they missed Meat Loaf and even promises to personally give Painted Turtle whatever he raised for ASAP. Meat Loaf is overwhelmed again and tells Trump how much he has appreciated being on the show.

Trump announces that ASAP raised $102,080.00. Backbone raised $82,500.00.

“Meat Loaf,” Donald Trump says, “Meat Loaf, look at you!” More tears. “I’m really happy for you,” Donald Trump beams, adding he usually doesn’t root for anyone and tries to be impersonal but he was very impressed with Meat Loaf’s heart and guts.

In the board room, Trump acknowledges the tapped out donors but notes that John Rich raised the most money, La Toya raised the least. Trump says La Toya set a record by being the only person who was ever allowed to come back and now she’s set another record — she’s the only one to be ever be fired twice.

Part 2:  Star vs. Meat Loaf: OnStar Task