John Rich 7 Up Retro Triumph Despite Def Leppard Problem

We weren’t really looking forward to watching the Part 2 Finale of Retro Rumble (Celebrity Apprentice – May 22nd). We figured Marlee Matlin would get the nod from Donald Trump after being the one who raised the most money ever (over a million, although she didn’t really raise the million — Trump kicked in the extra $14,000 to make it a million in Art of the Deal).

Quote Roundup: Celebrity Apprentice 4 (May 22nd)

Mostly all the stars of the season returned for the finale, even David Cassidy who crowed about how glad he was that Richard Hatch was in jail. Hope Dworaczyk was there but never said a word, which was ironic. She was criticized for being too quiet a lot. Well, when everyone ignores you, what else can you be but quiet? Feisty NeNe came back and she and La Toya ganged up on Star Jones a little bit. Donald Trump predicted they would make up some day and all be good friends. “When pigs fly,” Star retorted. Gary Busey insisted on letting it be known that Omaha Steaks is using his kite idea in their Father’s Day package.

Marlee’s 7-Up Feel the Love Presentation

Marlee personally greeted the 7-Up execs and Donald Trump and had her team mates make sure everyone who was a VIP felt like a VIP.  There were some iffy moments about Geoffrey Holder, 7-Up’s pitchman from the 70s and 80s, getting there, but it all worked out and Geoffrey was the surprise finishing touch in Marlee’s commercial, with Richard Hatch in an afro wig wanting to boogie, La Toya as a Wonder Woman wannabe and Meat Loaf as a Bat out of Hell. The Harlem Globetrotters came out and put on a little show to “Sweet Georgia Brown” music, as Trump’s grandchildren watched in awe. Marlee worked the 7-Up theme into the Globetrotter’s thing with some 7-Up shorts and the scoreboard. Her entire presentation was seamless, even if her team’s design wasn’t the coolest.

John Rich’s 7-Up Retro, Keeping It Real Presentation

By contrast, it looked like John Rich was sunk from the jump when no one from his team bothered to greet Donald Trump and the 7-Up guys. Things then went from bad to worse. His commercial went well enough, showing auditions for a 7-Up commercial with screeching weirdos, the last of which was Dee Snider transforming into his Twisted Sister persona after throwing down a can of 7-Up. Both commercials weren’t that spectacular if you ask us, but the audience seemed to enjoy them both.  John Rich then performed a “7-Up is Rockin’ the Country” number. Then he incredibly introduced Def Leppard 15 minutes before they were supposed to appear! “Unbelievable,” Donald Trump observed. But Rich proved to be a trooper by filling in with an impromptu performance of “Don’t Fire Me, Mr. Trump,” and a few other numbers that kept the audience reasonably entertained until Def Leppard finally showed up to perform their hits “Demolition Man,” “Pour Some Sugar on Me” and “Rock of Ages.” It was a great little trip back in time, the audience loved it, but what did it have to do with 7-Up?  The lyrics, “Take a bottle, shake it up/Break the bubble, break it up”? Nah, they were already in “Pour Some Sugar.”

John Rich also got some donations for St. Jude’s before his performance totaling $275,000 and in the boardroom, while he took responsibility for the Def Leppard snafu, he said his excitement over the unexpected windfall for his charity was behind the screw-up. Marlee was pretty pissed off to learn about these big bucks coming through since this was no a fund-raising task. Trump assured her this would not be a consideration in his decision.

Ultimately, all Trump said was he was going to do something a little different and announced John Rich as the winner. Without going into the whys and wherefores, the show ended. John Rich must have gotten pretty high points for rescuing his terrible presentation with the “Don’t Fire Me” number, and for being the overall hardest worker and best leader throughout the season, because Marlee clearly was the winner on the Retro Rumble task.

We were still glad that John Rich won because he deserved it. How about you?