Shameless Recap: Ian the Prophet

The LGBTQIA community saw a new Messiah in Ian, while Trevor saw a Judas. Alcohol withdrawal killed Professor Youens in prison and Lip learned he was far from the only student Youens took under his broken wings. Kassidi steamrolled Carl all the way to the Cook County Clerk’s office, and there was lots more going on in “Church of Gay Jesus,” Episode 10 of “Shameless: Season 8 (1-14-18).

He’s like a prophet, and he’s super hot too, like Hot Gay Jesus ~ Kassidi

Ian was given a picture of himself in robes like Jesus by a girl who had been put through aversion therapy twice by her parents. That was touching but what was intimidating was that the word being floated around about him was “miracle,” after he revived the Reverend Yates in last week’s episode. Ian explained that he was just a paramedic and not a healer, which did nothing to put a damper on his growing cult. Ian claimed it was making him uneasy and was afraid that he wouldn’t be able to deliver a good message at the Trinity and Life Evangelical church meeting where Father Murphy wanted him to speak. But when he got rolling, he was a natural and the crowd of 40 adored him. Ian blew off his other engagement at a career symposium Trevor set up so 50 kids learned nothing about the possibility of becoming a paramedic. Trevor was decidedly unhappy about it. Maybe Ian should read the part of the Bible where Jesus’ followers turned against him and reconsider alienating Trevor.

Frank, in the meantime, saw a business opportunity and was hawking Church of Gay Jesus tee shirts with no intention of honoring the deal he made with Ian to give 95% of the profits to Trevor’s kids. Ian autographed a few of them for the faithful.

He was a good dad, just, um, not to me. ~ Tabitha Youens

Lip went to the prison to check up on Professor Youens only to learn that his mentor was deceased. The next of kin was notified and the body was claimed. Lip let himself into Youens’ apartment, much to the shock of the professor’s daughter, Tabitha, who was in there going through stuff. Lip tried to explain to her what her father meant to him but she was in no mood. “So glad you were well parented by my dad,” she said, curtly sending him on his way. At the memorial service, Lip was shocked to see all the tributes from other students Youens went out of his way to help. You know that alcoholics are self-centered creatures right? Yeah, that’s why Lip took it so hard. He thought he was special. He left the service without speaking, never giving a thought to how much harder the students’ tributes must have been for Tabitha to sit through. He went to the motorcycle shop and trashed a bunch of stuff, including the motorcycle Brad gave him to rejuvenate. When he got home, Youens’ daughter was sitting on the Gallagher stoop. She had a half-finished recommendation Youens’ had been writing for Lip that she thought he might want to keep. In it, Youens said he was amazed at Lip’s mind, and she commented that she never heard him talk that way about any other student. Lip declined the momento and Tabitha burst into tears. That jerked Lip out of his self-pity enough to comfort her.

You’re generous. Like today, for example, you gave your apartment to a homeless family. ~ Ford

Fiona talked about Ford with Nessa, who confided that she miscarried and Mel was now the only one having his spawn. Ford took Fiona out furniture hunting and scored an unusual chair worth $2,000 for $450 that he talked her into buying as an investment in her future self. Fiona wondered why Ford never asked her anything about herself and learned that he asked everyone else about her and already knew a lot. Most women would be offended and ask him if he ran a background check too. LOL. Eventually, they hooked up at Ford’s place.

Meantime, Rodney and his family parked it near Fiona’s building. They were homeless and Fiona offered to help them find a shelter. Trevor came through on that but it wouldn’t be available for two days, so Fiona let them stay in her apartment. While she was off with Ford, they moved their relatives in and spilled stuff on Fiona’s new chair. She took that to the Gallaghers and philosophized; that they weren’t doing anything she hadn’t done herself when she was poor and broke – take advantage. She changed her tune when she found out that Rodney was suing her for 6 million dollars.

The buzzard is in the tuna ~ Kevin Ball

Kevin and V did their best to help Svetlana land a “single geriatric male with piles of money and a terminal illness.” They tried to teach her how to act like a lady. Kev even hooked her up with a receiver while he told her what to say and do from a distance, all to no avail. Spy sh*t may be in Svetlana’s DNA, but the art of seduction is definitely not.

You can’t leave me. I’ll die! ~ Kassidi

Kassidi bought all the Gallaghers presents in honor of her and Carl’s engagement. Sure, it’s supposed to be the other way around but the Gallaghers didn’t object. When she found out that Carl was getting his things in order for his return to military school, she went off the deep end again and did everything in her power to thwart his education, even cutting up his uniforms! She insisted they could get married before he left and, armed with fake IDs, they got a marriage license but could not actually tie the knot till the next day. Carl asked this raging lunatic for some breathing space and she sweetly agreed, then she actually put her head in a noose when she heard Carl outside the bedroom door so he could save her. Ugh! This storyline is just annoying. Fiona should toss Kassidi out on her keester. After all, as she bragged to Ford, she is Carl’s guardian. Snort!

So we’re screwing over a union we want to join someday? ~ Debbie Gallagher

Farhad told Debbie about a nighttime welding gig where they could make $40 an hour. He never said it was risk-free though and they had to run for their lives when the union workers busted in on them. Debbie swore she would never do scab work again, but swiftly changed her mind when Farhad said the next job paid $500. There was an accident and we think Debbie definitely broke something. Meantime, Derek’s mom, Celia, was back on babysitting duty. We can’t believe it! We still don’t trust Celia!