Just How Sorry is Justin Bieber?

Very. In fact, it’s getting to the point where he reminds you of an old Brenda Lee song.

Seventeen has him plastered on the cover of its next issue with this “teaser” — I was disappointed in myself. P. 92. The Canadian pop star confesses that he “was rebelling a little bit.” That’s apparently what you call it when you damage other people’s property. And it always helps to pinpoint what was lacking in your self-control: “I didn’t have people to check me.”

Upon being disappointed in himself, he realized that “You have to own up to the mistakes. You have to say, ‘I’m sorry if I’ve let you down.’” Notice the “if” — apologies like that don’t mean much.

Not everyone is impressed with his mea culpas. Comedian Hannibal Burress tweeted that this joke of his was cut from the recent Bieber Comedy Central Roast: “Actually you should thank me for participating in this extremely transparent attempt to be more likable in the public eye. And I hope it doesn’t work.”

The fact of the matter is that Bieber’s popularity has already gone the way of all teen idols. He will always have his most loyal fans, he’ll still get press, whether good or bad, true or false, but he needs some real talent to get any new fans. Even he knows now that trying to be a bad ass ain’t gonna cut it.