Zsa Zsa Gabor on Bonanza in Maestro Hoss

Los Angeles is not the only place  the fiery Hungarian actress Zsa Zsa Gabor was ever incarcerated. She was once a guest of Sheriff Roy Coffee in the Virginia City jail during her one-time stint on “Bonanza”.  Zsa Zsa appeared in a 1967 episode of the TV Western entitled “Maestro Hoss”, wreaking havoc in a humorous way that involved no shoot-outs or cattle rustlers. As “the world’s greatest” gypsy fortune-teller, Madame Marova, she enlists the help of Hoss Cartwright to fix a broken wagon wheel. Ever the conniving vixen, she flatters him on his great strength while checking out what’s in his wallet where she finds $178.50.

When Hoss inquires into her ability to predict the future, she tells him: “To me, the future is as clear as the day.” So Hoss asks her to take a peek into his future. Madame Marova is flabbergasted by the talent she “discovers” in his palm. She tells Hoss she has only seen this marvel one other time in her life and the other guy was a musical genius. She just happens to have that musical genius’s Stradivarius handy because on his death bed, the maestro told her to give it to someone whose musical genius was a great as his. Madame Marova gives Hoss the violin and says “… the whole world will know that the world’s greatest violin virtuoso is Maestro Hoss.”

The big, naive cowboy buys it hook, line and sinker and wishes there was something he could do for her. Madame Marova claims she had to borrow money against the violin when she was broke. Guess how much? Although she demurs, Hoss insists she take the $178.50 he has on him. Don’t you just love the cons when the victim begs to be fleeced? As she sticks the money in her bosom, she purrs: “Mr. Hoss, when you are a great man and the whole world is at your feet, remember Madame Marova.” “Yes’m,” Hoss replies.

Hoss takes the violin back home and proceeds to torture all and sundry with his “great musical talent.” His family cannot convince him that he is not a musical genius, so Pa Cartwright enlists the aid of piano teacher, Miss Dorothy Hibbs, played by prolific character actress, Kathleen Freeman. She is supposed to let Hoss down gently, Ben gets his first hint that she’s not going to be much help when she sees “big and handsome” Hoss and sighs, “I do admire big men.” The next time we see Zsa Zsa, she is in the Virginia City jail and Ben, at his wits’ end, gets her released. His plan is to pay Madame Marova $200 to get Hoss to stop playing that Stradivarius. Even more hilarity follows.

People often mixed Zsa Zsa up with her sister Eva. Indeed, even a review of “Maestro Hoss” on IMDB said it was Eva in this episode. While Eva Gabor never set foot on the Ponderosa, she was the star of another popular sitcom, ” Green Acres.” Zsa Zsa also appeared in 60’s TV staples “The Beverly Hillbillies,” “Gilligan’s Island” and “Batman.”

In September of 1989, the feisty femme fatale decked a police officer in Beverly Hills when he stopped her for a traffic violation. He allegedly rudely insulted Zsa Zsa and used obscenities. Zsa Zsa was 72 at the time. She was convicted on an assault charge and spent 72 hours in jail. An hour for each year of her tempestuous life? Her fans believed Zsa Zsa’s version of the incident, that the officer provoked her. She was well known for walking off sets in a rage and retaliating against people who pushed her too far back in the day, but Ms. Gabor also had a great sense of humor. She laughed at herself right along with the best of them. When it turned mean and became disrespectful, she threw down the glove, and was not shy about showing her displeasure. The cop-slapping incident was lampooned by Zsa Zsa in “The Naked Gun 2 1/2: The Smell of Fear” (1991) and on an episode of “The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air” the same year.

Zsa Zsa was also famous for calling everyone “dahling” in that sexy voice of hers. She once said: “I don’t remember anybody’s name. How do you think the “dahling” thing got started?” The number of husbands she racked up is another feature of any Zsa Zsa Gabor conversation. One of her husbands, George Sanders, also married her sister, Magda. While she was married to George, Zsa Zsa carried on a notorious affair with playboy, Porfirio Rubirosa, who was married to heiress, Barbara Hutton. Once asked how many husbands she had, Zsa Zsa said: “You mean other than my own?”

Zsa Zsa appeared in several notable films of the 1950s. She played the role of Jane Avril in the original Moulin Rouge (1952) with Jose Ferrer as French artist, Henri Toulouse-Lautrec. Nicole Kidman played Zsa Zsa’s role in the remake. In 1953, she worked in the film “Lili,” starring Mel Ferrer and Leslie Caron. Interestingly, Miss Kitty (Amanda Blake) of “Gunsmoke” was also in this movie.

No matter the role, Zsa Zsa was always Zsa Zsa, long before Paris Hilton became famous for just being herself. Zsa Zsa’s second husband was Conrad Hilton, Paris Hilton’s great-grandfather and founder of the Hilton Hotel empire. Zsa Zsa’s only child, Constance Francesca Hilton is Paris Hilton’s great-aunt.

Zsa Zsa Gabor has suffered from many medical problems since 2002, when she was injured in an automobile accident in a car driven by her hairstylist, Jaren Millard. She suffered with partial paralysis and was confined to a wheelchair. In July of 2005, she had a massive stroke and in 2007, at age 90, she required surgery for a leg infection caused by her immobility. In 2010, she underwent a successful hip replacement but the following year, her right leg had to be amputated above the knee to save her life from an infection. She lives with her 8th husband, Frederic Von Anhalt, who posted this message on his Facebook on 9/4/2014: “My sweet darling wife is confortable in her Bel-Air Home, and has no pain at all. We are all looking forward, to celebrate Zsa Zsa’s 100 Birthday up here !” According to wikipedia, that would be on 2/6/2017.