Steven and Randy Are Old Softies

Published on January 28, 2011 by name team · No Comments

It’s been going around that Jennifer Lopez can’t say “no” to anyone, but that just didn’t seem to be the case these last two nights:

American Idol: Milwaukee

On January 26th in Milwaukee, WI, the golden tickets were flowing like honey and mostly to 15 year olds, whether they deserved to get them or not. 15-year-old Emma Henry drove all the way from Littleton, CO to Milwaukee for her “opportunity,” with somebody filming it and talking about how she’s been living for this since Day One of American Idol. “This is what my life is about,” Emma said.

“I loved it,” Steven Tyler said to our utter astonishment. Jennifer Lopez heard a special quality that Emma needed to work on. Randy also saw some need for improvement but put it to the vote, whereupon J-Lo said “no” sans hesitation. Steven Tyler said “yes” to our second utter astonishment. Emma then wept more crocodile tears than a porcupine has quills and pleaded and begged Randy not to send her packing.

“The dawg’s gonna turn into a pussycat,” Steven quipped, and Randy, big ol’ softie, gave in. As a jubilant Emma Henry sailed out the door, J-Lo told Randy his first instinct was right: “She’s gonna get eaten up in this competition.” And she will so we can expect more weeping and gnashing of teeth from the young thang, and probably from a bunch of others they gave tickets to that they knew in their hearts they shouldn’t have. Oh well. If the viewers call them babies for crying, they will be right. They are just babies.

American Idol: Nashville

We honestly don’t like the big buildup to a shitty audition, but we got a few more in Music City. One was Stormi (“it’s on my birth certificate”) Henley, a Miss Teen USA pageant winner (2009) who already has her own wikipedia entry for that honor. Her confidence and poise was a lot higher than her singing talent, and again J-Lo wasn’t impressed and didn’t have a problem with a nay vote. Randy and Steven helped the 20-year old Crossville, Tennessee lassie take a trip to Hollywood for nothing. We just can’t see Stormi even in the Top 25, let along the finals, can you?