Celebrity Apprentice Recap: Lorissa’s Kitchen

The first task on the January 23, 2017 edition of Celebrity Apprentice was to create a PR stunt for Lorissa’s Kitchen and their all natural protein snacks. Lorissa and Shauna were on hand to tout the products and explain that they were giving them a retro-fitted container (whatever that is!) and an extra $25K if they win. Total prize: $50K. Bob Harper, “the star of the health & fitness world,” was on hand to help out the celebrities and the two Schwarzenegger judges.

Team Prima Project Manager: Lisa Leslie. Members: Carson Kressley, Chael Sonnen, Vince Neil, Porsha Williams

Team Arete Project Manager: Brooke Burke-Charvet. Members: Boy George, Matt Isemen, Ricky Williams, Laila Ali

They showed one of the containers. It was a shipping container that looked like a stage set opened up. Carson thought it was “the greatest thing ever” and it was “like George Jetson designed this thing,” nicer than his apartment in New York and much roomier. Sure, Carson. LOL!

Scoping out the location of the two containers, Lisa thinks they can pull some of Arete’s crowd over to their spot if they are loud (ever see the King of the Mardi Gras Popeye cartoon. Vince thinks he is making a rock video. He wants women in bikinis on top of the container beckoning to the crowd. The others don’t want to go too risque with that but Lisa didn’t want to reject Vince’s idea outright. The reason she gave (to make him feel that part of the project) seemed pretty feeble. Maybe since Vince headed up the last project and won $769K, part of her thought he was right. She must have read our minds because she later said quite the opposite.

Brooke is a fitness instructor herself so she went with an exercise presentation, featuring the Booty Burn. It will be whole healthy, inspirational experience, interacting with the crowd. Her team frets over her inability to come up with a catchy name, but Brooke says that’s not one of her strengths and she’s better at winging it. Checking in, Bob Harper was concerned with Brooke’s plan to “play it safe.” He would rather see some pizzazz.

Knowing Brooke will go the fitness routine route, Lisa decides it will be a good idea to outdo her on that. Carson thought that was a dumb idea but since it’s her funeral, he let it go. Porsha was upset that Lisa kept “shush”-ing everyone. It was mainly her, though, because she has a problem knowing when to zip her lip. Chael and Vince were not very supportive of Lisa either, complaining she was not nice and was a bad leader. Lisa thought Chael was a BSer and he and Vince weren’t contributing much. Carson did try to get a handle on organization.

Both presentations went well with the exercise and product efforts. Patrick Schwarzenegger and Bob Hart didn’t appear to like the dancing girls. Patrick called them go-go dancers and thought they were a distraction.

In the boardroom, the teams were told they may not have realized that the Governor was watching their presentations. Brooke, at least, did see him. Patrick said the executives loved Arete’s “from the farm, to your table” concept and that Brooke delivered an authentic connection to the brand as a mom. On the downside, they did not make good use of their container. The wall through the center created a disconnect and that of their presentation created two different spaces and that was a big miss!

The executives also loved Team Prima’s focus on moms and Carson’s hands-on approach, encouraging people to open the product up and give it a go. No container complaints. The dancing girls were the real downfall of Team Prima on this one. They were “cheap and off brand.” Ouch! The chaotic party atmosphere didn’t help either.

So Arete won and Brooke was thrilled to get $50,000 for Operation Smile. She said it would enable a little over 200 kids to have a one-hour operation that would transform their lives forever.

After the usual quibbling, Lisa ended up back in the boardroom with Vince and Chael. Lisa was at risk for being the project manager and signing off on everything, of course, but the dancing girls were Vince’s idea after all. Chael was there because Lisa thought he was a BSer. Just kidding, but really, he had a lot to say all of a sudden and it was mostly anti-Lisa.

The Governor thought that Lisa’s inability to get along with the women wasn’t solved now that her team was mostly men and she couldn’t get along with them. Lisa’s theme was people who weren’t giving their all. Vince said he owned up to his bad dancer idea. The Governor accused him of coasting on the heels of his big score last week with a big spiel about how he didn’t just coast on his Mr. Universe laurels and went into movies and politics. Gawd! These are the worst parts of the show. Patrick pointed out that Vince won all that for his charity thanks to great team support. Chael stuck the knife in Lisa’s back and twisted it as much as he could. Lisa wanted Chael to get the boot for being a backstabber. Chael said Lisa had to go “without question.” Vince must have been saying, man, let me out of here by this time. When it came to him he said he should be fired based on his performance. And he was.

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